Blog

Stop believing the lie that you have to be perfect before you move forward. Whether it’s dating, starting a business, writing a book, or stepping into a new season of life, many people say, “Wait until you’re fully ready and have everything together.” While it’s good to keep growing and bettering yourself, don’t let that mindset limit […]

In 2024, I joined the choir. On the surface, it felt like a simple decision—something creative, something expressive. But looking back, I see it was much more than that. It was preparation. Choir is about using your voice. Blending it with others, yes—but still showing up with your own sound. I didn’t realize then how […]

It was psychological. I wanted my life back instantly. But I also wanted something else—I wanted to feel my womanhood strongly again. It felt like that had been shaken, interrupted, or stolen from me through what happened. I needed proof that it was still there, still intact, still real within me. And in my mind […]

After the rape, I went to the doctor. Not just any doctor—I went to the gynecologist. I scheduled prenatal visits. I agreed to exams. I laid there for an ultrasound. And at the time, I didn’t fully understand why. But now I do. I was searching. I was searching for proof… that what was taken […]

I wanted something permanent on me that couldn’t be taken away—like what I lost. But this time, it was my choice. No one forced it.No one took it.I chose it. In a moment where I once had no control, I gave myself something lasting—something no one could steal, rewrite, or erase. I wasn’t only replacing […]

We often talk about postpartum depression in the natural sense—after a mother gives birth to a child. But no one really talks about what can happen after you give birth to something spiritual, something creative, something deeply personal. After I released my book, I expected to feel proud, relieved, and accomplished. Instead… I felt overwhelmed. I started […]

I went to the club because I was trying to feel alive again. After everything went dark, I found myself drawn to places that looked like the opposite of how I felt inside. The club was dark too—but not in the same way. It was filled with flashing lights, loud music, movement, laughter. Life. It […]

But now I can look back and see something deeper at work. About two years later, I began processing my rape—something that changed the way I saw myself, my life, and my future. In that season, I didn’t always recognize what was happening spiritually or emotionally, but healing was still unfolding. What I didn’t understand […]

My body was a house. And I didn’t leave. I didn’t disappear from it. I didn’t throw it away. I didn’t go searching for a brand new one like nothing ever happened. Because most people, when their house gets damaged, don’t immediately abandon it. They try to fix it. They try to repair what was […]

At a women’s conference, a question was asked:“What would you do with $10,000?” Many women answered:“I would open a home for victims of domestic violence.” And that’s beautiful. That matters. But I noticed something. No one said anything about creating safe spaces for victims of sexual abuse. And I couldn’t ignore it. Because sexual abuse is physical […]

After my rape, something unexpected happened inside of me—I began to deeply desire motherhood. And it wasn’t just a soft, passing thought. It felt urgent. Anchoring. Almost like my soul grabbed onto it. Motherhood often means something very specific to most:I can’t give up.I have to keep showing up.Even when I don’t feel like it, […]

For years, I wrestled with thoughts of suicide. It felt like the only way out, the only way to escape the weight I was carrying. In my mind, death looked like peace. It looked like freedom. It looked like a new beginning. But I see now—I didn’t need to kill myself to live better. I […]

In 2013, I remember longing for a new life. Not just in a surface way—but deeply, physically, emotionally. I wanted restoration. I wanted to feel whole again. I wanted something living, something growing, something that would remind me that my body and my life still had purpose after everything I had been through. I thought […]

When I reflect on my life now, I understand something I didn’t fully have language for back then: rape is not defined by violence alone. It is defined by a lack of consent. And that truth changes everything. My experience wasn’t part of God’s plan for me—but what I can see now is that God […]

After my rape, I did something that, at the time, might not have made sense to anyone else—I went to prenatal care and even accepted a due date. Looking back, I understand now: I wasn’t crazy.I was trying to care for myself the only way my mind knew how. I knew something had been forced […]

Hmm 🤔… reflecting on my journey, I’ve come to realize something deep: some of the weight I carried for years was never mine to hold in the first place. As a believer, I always knew about praying in tongues. I had been taught that it was important—even powerful. My old pastor used to say to […]

I don’t believe clubbing itself is a sin. But I do believe the environment you place yourself in matters. Reading Todd Bridges’ story really made me think deeper about this. He talked about being in drug houses—places filled with broken people, addiction, and instability. Environments where no one could truly trust each other because everyone was under […]

After surviving rape, my body and life felt… dull. Numb. Heavy. Like someone had tried to erase parts of me, and for a while, I didn’t know how to get them back. That’s when I started turning to color. Most of my tattoos are in bright, vivid ink. At first, I didn’t realize it consciously, […]

Numbers have a way of showing up in our lives at the perfect time. For me, 25 carries joy, celebration, gifts, and generosity. Christmas, the ultimate celebration of these things, falls on the 25th of December. My book was released in 2025, in July—a true “Christmas in July”. I was giving the world a gift to open—a piece of my heart, my […]

I’ve always known 5 is my blessed number, but the more I reflect, the more I see its spiritual depth. Beyond beginnings and transformation, 5 represents grace, atonement, service, complete wellness, and ministry. And in my life, it has shown up in ways I can only call miraculous. In 1995, I started preschool as a shy, quiet child—but even […]

This wasn’t me rejecting God—it was me protecting myself. My faith didn’t disappear; I just needed space to heal without judgment. God’s love isn’t about rules or control. It’s about compassion, presence, and restoration.

It was about control.It was about taking my body back. What was once taken from me without my consent,I began to express on my own terms. From feeling exposed…to choosing to be seen. Not broken—reclaimed.

My rape happened just before I turned 21—a milestone that’s supposed to represent freedom. At 21, people celebrate independence, stepping into adulthood, making their own choices. But for me, that moment was marked by the exact opposite. My freedom wasn’t being discovered… it was taken. And for a long time, that loss defined things in […]

At the time, I didn’t fully understand why—I just knew I needed to feel seen again. Online dating gave me a space where I could present myself, be chosen, be desired. It became a way to prove that I was still attractive, still wanted, still… valuable. And if I’m honest, it was also about validation. There’s something […]

On the dance floor, I reclaimed my body and my attention. Under the lights, I was bold, seen, impossible to ignore. That’s exactly what my book is: unapologetically me, center stage, sharing my truth so everyone notices. Healing doesn’t look perfect. It doesn’t have to be “right.” Sometimes, it’s loud, messy, and visible—and that’s exactly […]

Every Easter, churches remind us that Jesus died for our sins—and yes, that is something to be grateful for. But too often, the message comes wrapped in shame: “You were a horrible sinner, and he died for you” or “Forgive because he forgave you.” While intended to inspire, these words can feel heavy, almost lacking compassion. The truth is, […]

Criticism often says more about the critics than the one being criticized. Take Mary Mary, Bold. Unapologetic. Authentic. 💥 Mary Mary faced criticism for their music, their style, their confidence. People called them “too sexy,” “too modern,” “too much.” Yet they stayed true to themselves—and changed gospel music forever. Criticism often means you’re doing something right. […]

ISAIAH 54:17  No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of Me,” saith the Lord.

One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is the difference between promises made in the church and promises made outside of it. In many church spaces, people are given big, hopeful promises about their future—about their calling, their position, and their elevation. You’ll hear things like, “If you serve faithfully, you’ll be promoted,” or “If you forgive, God […]

So often, the church encourages marriage primarily as a way to avoid sexual temptation. “Wait until marriage” is preached loud and clear—but rarely do we hear about the other pieces of the puzzle. Marriage isn’t just about not sinning sexually. It’s about building a life together, and that requires much more than good intentions. Yet topics […]

Back in 2011–2013, I was in fashion school, dreaming big. I remember telling my career counselor, “I want to open a boutique.” Not a huge chain store, not something everyone has access to—but a small, unique space filled with edgy clothing that you can’t find in most traditional stores. It was about curation, style, and […]

1995 was a year of firsts. I started preschool—a huge step for a little me who had only known the comfort of being home with my mom. I had never even been in daycare. That year, I also started riding my very first bike: a bright red tricycle. Each pedal forward felt like a tiny […]

Back then, diaries were private. They were sacred. If someone read your diary, it felt like a violation. You’d be embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, especially if it held your deepest secrets. And let’s be real—most diaries did. They were filled with long thoughts, hidden feelings, and things you didn’t dare say out loud. A diary was […]

What happened to me, (my rape) took me to a dark place mentally and emotionally.A place of pain, confusion, and brokenness. But I didn’t stay there. I rose.I healed.I found strength I didn’t even know I had. The place life takes you doesn’t have to be where you remain. Just because it hurt you doesn’t […]

When we were kids, some of us didn’t love what was in our Easter baskets, and some of us didn’t even catch any eggs during the hunt. But here’s the good news: God hasn’t forgotten the little disappointments or missed blessings. He sees every “missed egg,” every small moment that felt empty or unfair—and He’s […]

Healing doesn’t always happen where we expect. For me, much of my healing didn’t start in a church building—it started in a tattoo shop. Wow. Never doubt where God can work, or the hands He can use. The tattoo artists helped me fix my body instead of destroy it. Ironically, the tattoo shop itself was […]

After my rape, I chose to get tattoos. At first, it might seem like a simple choice—art on my body—but when I reflect, I realize it was so much deeper. God wasn’t mad that I tatted my body up; He was glad I chose tattoos over gunshot wounds or cuts. My tattoos are my forever […]

For years, I thought I needed money. People told me I needed enough to live well, to have security, to “enjoy life.” And for a long time, I chased that idea, believing financial comfort was the ultimate goal. But reality hit me in the quiet moments: what I truly needed wasn’t money. I needed healing—mentally, emotionally, […]

I see people, like Brandy, sharing their stories about sexual abuse in their 40s—and I’m genuinely glad they’re speaking out. But I can’t help reflecting on my own journey. I wrote and published my book at 32, openly sharing my experience with sexual abuse, and at 33, I am walking in real healing. Wow! I […]

After my rape, I remember finally making it back home. You would think the first thing I’d do is take a shower… wash everything away… try to feel clean again. But I didn’t. I didn’t bathe that night. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why. I just remember being in shock. My mind was […]

My book gave me something money never could. It gave me breakthrough.It gave me freedom.It gave me healing.It gave me deliverance.It gave me transformation.It gave me peace. That kind of transformation is priceless. There are people with full bank accounts but empty hearts. People who have wealth but are still in bondage mentally, emotionally, and […]

When I was pursuing cosmetology, I found myself holding back. I was shy about getting clients, hesitant to promote my work, and unsure about putting myself out there. There was this quiet fear—of being seen, of being judged, of not being “good enough” yet. But then I think about my book. I wasn’t shy when […]

Red is a bold color. It demands attention, it announces presence, it doesn’t apologize. For my 3rd birthday in 1995, I got a red tricycle—small, playful, but bold. Even as a little girl, that red tricycle was a first taste of courage, of moving forward with energy and joy. Fast forward 30 years—my 33rd birthday in 2025—I wore a red […]

Last Easter, something incredible happened in my life—I finished my book manuscript. What makes it even more meaningful is that weeks before that moment, I felt God speak to me clearly: you will be finished on Easter. At the time, I received it, but I didn’t fully grasp how powerful that timing would be. And then it […]

I’ve realized that transformation doesn’t always happen in the church house. It doesn’t always have to be outwardly visible. Often, the most profound change happens inwardly—quiet, unseen, but deeply real. My book 📕 is more than a career; I always thought I’d simply have a career, not a transformation. Wow! A career can be fulfilling, […]

There’s this narrative that women are naturally jealous of each other. That when one woman is shining, another woman somewhere is secretly competing. But honestly? That’s not my story. When I see another woman who is attractive, thriving, successful, and walking confidently in her purpose—it doesn’t make me feel insecure. It inspires me. It reminds […]

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said out loud enough. Cliques in church. Yes—church. I’ve seen it in different spaces: the choir, the dance team, the youth department. Places that are supposed to reflect unity somehow start to feel like exclusive circles. And if you’ve ever felt like an outsider looking in, you’re not […]

After my rape, I noticed my body was sending signals I couldn’t ignore: nausea, trouble eating, lighter and shorter periods… almost like pregnancy symptoms, but they weren’t. Looking back, I realize my body was trying to tell me something was wrong—that what happened to me wasn’t right. Our bodies are wise. They remember trauma before our […]

After my rape, my relationship with my own body changed. Fashion and makeup didn’t feel like enough. I still wanted to feel beautiful, but traditional ways of dressing up didn’t resonate with me. Instead, I found a different kind of agency—through tattoos. Tattoos became my way of reclaiming control. Each one was small, intentional, and […]

I’ve wrestled with this thought:What if my testimony doesn’t sound “holy” enough? Not polished enough.Not churchy enough.Not wrapped in the kind of language people expect when you talk about God. But then I realized something that changed everything—God does not limit Himself to religious presentation. We do that. God speaks in ways that reach people.And […]

As children, many of us grew up receiving hugs, kisses, and other forms of affection from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles—even teachers or babysitters. Most of these moments were loving and harmless. But what happens when a child isn’t comfortable with a display of affection? I remember once at the mall, a teacher from my school […]

It’s something I’ve noticed: the church often loves neat, clean, predictable testimonies. The kind that fit a formula: “I struggled with X, I prayed, God delivered me, and now I’m living a new life.” Getting free from drugs or alcohol often falls into this category. Don’t get me wrong—God absolutely can and does deliver people […]

Lately, I’ve been faced with something that made me stop and really think: being asked to change my book—specifically, to remove the chapter about rape. And honestly… that didn’t sit right with me. Because one thing I know for sure is this: God does not condone lying. He would never tell someone to hide the […]

Halloween is a magical time for kids, full of costumes, candy, and imaginative play. But whether a child should participate—and how—isn’t just about whether they like the idea of dressing up. Age and attention span play a huge role in shaping the experience. For younger children, particularly those under five: For older kids, usually six and up: […]

Sometimes, it feels like we’re wandering in circles, completely clueless about our purpose. For years, I had no idea where I was headed or what my calling truly was. But looking back, I realize that those years of uncertainty were not wasted—they were seasons of preparation. God was working behind the scenes, shaping me, preparing […]

It’s easy to praise churches for visiting the sick, volunteering at homeless shelters, or giving money to the poor. These are visible acts of kindness, socially affirmed, and make everyone feel good. But what happens when the people in need aren’t “comfortable” for the congregation? Rape victims, young or unmarried pregnant women—these are the cases […]

Many churches today emphasize unquestionable leadership, teaching that raising doubts or asking for proof is somehow disrespectful. But a closer look at Jesus’ interactions shows a very different approach. Take Thomas, often called “Doubting Thomas.” After Jesus’ resurrection, Thomas said he wouldn’t believe unless he saw and touched Jesus’ wounds. Many might interpret this as […]

I’ve noticed a pattern that happens far too often in church spaces, and it’s worth talking about. On the surface, it sounds wholesome: “We gotta build each other up, because men tear us down,” “stick together, sisters,” “correct in love.” But sometimes, what looks like support is actually a subtle form of control—and it can […]

When we think about protecting children, we often focus on obvious dangers—but sometimes, subtle things like nicknames can be a tool for manipulation or grooming. Words like “princess,” “sweetie,” or “cutie” may seem harmless, but they can also be used by adults to test limits, build undue trust, or normalize closeness in ways that make […]

During sexual encounters, alcohol can blur the lines of consent. A person who is intoxicated may agree to things they would not normally agree to while sober. They may forget to use contraception, misuse it, or feel pressured in ways they can’t properly process in that moment. This is not simply a matter of “bad […]

It’s heartbreaking how many people grow up not understanding what rape or sexual abuse actually is. When there’s no education, no protection, and no safe conversations, harmful experiences can easily be mistaken for “normal.” I once came across a video where someone shared that they lost their virginity at 13 years old to a childhood […]

Sometimes, Christianity gets reduced to a list of “dos and don’ts.” Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t party. Don’t have sex outside of marriage. On the surface, these are all positive behaviors—but when faith becomes only about meeting a set of criteria, something important is lost. It’s like a patient telling their doctor: “I don’t eat […]

Our bodies are wired to protect us. Even before we fully understand a situation, our nervous system can alert us to danger. In sexual situations, this often shows up as physical resistance or an inability to become naturally aroused. These reactions are not a reflection of your desires or “failure”, but rather your body saying, “This isn’t safe.” Some […]

Many people assume that if someone uses a condom or other form of birth control, it means the encounter is “safe” or consensual. This is not true. Consent is about choice, not protection. In 2016, I was raped by a younger man. He used a condom, but in a manipulative way—he put it on and rubbed it […]

In many religious communities, love is held up as a central value—a guiding force for relationships, forgiveness, and moral life. But what happens when love is forced, manipulated, or used to control? For survivors of sexual assault, this can be deeply damaging. Manipulation Masquerading as Love Abusers often use love as a tool for control. In […]

After my initial rape, I found myself in other encounters that I thought were “normal.” I convinced myself I had to go along, that it was expected. But deep down, I never felt comfortable. I was nervous, anxious, even a bit nauseous 🤢—a physical warning I couldn’t ignore. At the time, I didn’t realize it, […]

I recently read a Christian book 📕 that said offense is what causes people to build walls against others. That idea makes sense on some level, but the reality is more complex. Not every wall or sense of caution is a moral failure — sometimes it’s simply human nature, especially after trauma. When someone has […]

Healing from rape is often described as a long, difficult journey—and rightly so. But one way to understand it is by comparing it to healing from a physical illness, like a stomach virus. When your body is sick, you can’t just ignore the symptoms and expect to get better. If your stomach needs to purge, […]

There were seasons in my life when my body didn’t feel like mine. 2005 – My Body Against MeTwo years after being diagnosed with scoliosis, while living with asthma too. Every breath, every movement, reminded me of my limits. My body ached, my posture reminded me of difference, and I felt trapped inside it—a passenger, not the […]

Sometimes life has a way of showing us that our inner visions are not random—they’re whispers of what’s meant to unfold. For me, the number 5 has always carried special meaning. It represents grace, atonement, wellness, ministry, and for me overall it has shown divine favor, and alignment, over the years, I’ve noticed it weaving through my life […]

Too often, our faith communities focus on rules and moral expectations, but forget the most important part of our calling: compassion. Life can hit hard—losing a spouse, parent, or loved one suddenly can turn someone’s world upside down. Sometimes, in the midst of grief, people turn to coping mechanisms like alcohol. This is not about […]

It’s interesting how, after trauma, the decisions we make don’t always seem connected—until we look back. After my rape, I went to cosmetology school. At the time, it didn’t feel deep. It didn’t feel symbolic. It just felt like something I chose to do. But looking back now, I see something I couldn’t see then: […]

In society, women are often under a microscope when it comes to marriage and childbearing. From family gatherings to social media, questions like “When are you getting married?” or “When are you having kids?” are all too common. There’s an unspoken timeline: finish your education, secure a career, get married, and then start a family—all […]

When Jackie Hill Perry shares her past, she’s not glorifying homosexuality—she’s sharing her testimony so others who feel bound can find freedom, truth, and hope. And it’s the same for me. When I speak about rape, I’m not glorifying what happened. There is nothing beautiful about trauma, violation, or pain. I’m speaking because:• Silence keeps people in […]

When I was 19, I encountered two men who tried to pressure me into sex. One was married and tried to lure me with food, money, and the idea of sneaking off to a hotel. Another became angry and aggressive when I said no and even unfriended me on social media. Both situations taught me […]

I remember during my rape, my rapist told to “act like I wanted it.” That moment stayed with me. Because if someone has to tell you to act like you want something so intimate, what does that say about what’s really happening? At the time, I didn’t fully have the words for it. But now […]

After my surgery at 14, my body felt different—but there was a plan. There was a timeline.There were instructions.There was reassurance. “Give it a few weeks.”“You’ll be back to normal.” Even though I felt discomfort, I knew my body wasn’t lost—it was healing. My doctors handled my body with care, with intention. Everything had structure. Everything […]

When I was around nine or ten, I kept having the same dream: my bed would lift off the ground and start flying. I never knew where it was going. I would feel scared, and instinctively, I’d close my eyes, hoping it would all be okay. But no matter how uncertain the journey felt, my […]

Too often, the church is quick to judge people who don’t fit the “expected” narrative. But real faith isn’t about looking perfect or checking all the boxes—it’s about the heart behind the walk. Take someone like Jackie Hill Perry, for example. She’s unapologetically honest about her past and the ongoing struggles in her faith journey. She’s […]

We often scroll, watch, and get inspired by others… but here’s the thing: someone out there is watching you too—maybe over and over. Your posts, your voice, your consistency—it’s impacting someone, even if it feels small. It’s not about comparing or copying. It’s about showing up, being real, and staying true to yourself. Your authenticity matters. 💛 […]

I knew God told me to write a book 📕 when I was 16. What I didn’t know was what I would write about—rape, trauma, and pain so deep it could shake you. At 16, if God had revealed that part of the plan, I wouldn’t have understood. I wouldn’t have been ready. Often, God only shows […]

One of the most important things a believer can learn is how to discern the difference between God’s voice and man’s voice. Not every loud, emotional, or “spiritual-sounding” message is from God—and not everything spoken with authority actually carries His heart. God’s voice is often gentle. It’s quiet, steady, and filled with love. He doesn’t […]

In today’s world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “performing faith.” Social media feeds are full of scripture verses, inspirational quotes, and posts showcasing Godly living. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with sharing encouragement or wisdom, faith isn’t meant to be a display for others to validate—it’s meant to transform you. Many believers feel […]

Sometimes, church teachings come wrapped in excitement and emotion—“Serve here, and you’ll be blessed,” “Give, and God will reward you,” or “Follow these steps, and you’ll get a Godly spouse.” On the surface, these promises feel motivating. They stir the heart, spark hope, and make you want to take action. But here’s the truth I’ve […]

In 1995, I was growing—becoming aware, stepping into independence, and discovering myself bit by bit. But I carried a fear I couldn’t face: these faux plants my parents had. I was convinced they could bite me. It sounds small now, but to me then, it was real—a symbol of danger in the seemingly harmless. Fast […]

But nothing about it was ordinary. Every word I learned, every feeling I struggled to express, every moment of growth was laying a foundation. A foundation I didn’t even realize I would one day build upon. Fast forward to 2025—I became an author. And suddenly, it all makes sense. The same little girl who was […]

Doctors believed my mom wouldn’t be able to safely have more children, so naturally, there probably wasn’t any expectation for something new. It was just another New Year—celebrating, stepping into what they thought would be another year like the last. But what they didn’t know… was that they had already stepped into a promise. This […]

For a brief moment in my life, I imagined myself as a cosmetology instructor—teaching people about hair, styles, and confidence. It seemed like a creative, fulfilling way to help others feel good about themselves. But life had a different kind of classroom in mind for me. Today, I’m an educator on a subject far deeper, […]

In 2021, I walked into a church with no expectations. I was just seeking peace, guidance, maybe a sense of hope. But something extraordinary happened that day. The pastor, who had never met me before, spoke a truth over my life—he said I was healing from abuse. At the time, it felt almost surreal. How […]

Years later, after releasing my book 📕, I felt that same vulnerability. I had exposed my deepest truths, my most private struggles, for the world to see. I was embarrassed, worried about judgment, and afraid of being misunderstood. But then I realized something: writing, like peeing, is natural. Peeing releases toxins from the body and brings relief. […]

Opening:In 1995, I was a quiet preschooler, the kind who stayed in the background and watched the world happen. I had a best friend who seemed to know me better than I knew myself. She helped me navigate school, encouraged me to speak up, and showed me what it meant to have someone truly by […]

In 1995, for my 3rd birthday, I got a red tricycle. I remember feeling so excited, like I’d suddenly become a “big kid.” My older sister already had a bike, and I wanted to be like her—mature, independent, exploring the world on my own. That tricycle wasn’t just a gift; it was my first taste of freedom, […]

However, while God can speak to anyone, He does not override free will. It is up to the individual to receive what He is saying. Bitterness can make a person more guarded, less trusting, and slower to accept truth, not because God has stopped speaking, but because the heart may struggle to hear clearly. Forgiveness, […]

Time alone with God is where faith becomes real and personal. Away from the crowd, the music, and the expectations, there’s space for honesty, reflection, and clarity. It’s in those quiet moments that God often speaks most directly—revealing things that are specific, personal, and necessary for individual growth. Not every message is meant for a […]

The truth is—God is always moving. Not just at conferences. Not just during emotional altar moments. Not just when the atmosphere feels intense. God is constantly working, even when it’s quiet, even when it’s subtle, and even when we don’t see or feel anything at all. He often moves mysteriously! Scripture reminds us in Isaiah […]

For some, it brings grief, silence, and memories they didn’t choose. There are women who have lost children—through illness, violence, or tragedy.Women who have experienced miscarriages, stillbirth, or SIDS.Women carrying the weight of abortions they didn’t have a choice in.Women quietly battling infertility, wondering if they’ll ever hear “mom.” While the world celebrates, many are […]

This might not be a popular opinion, but I don’t think Halloween is a simple yes or no—it really comes down to age, safety, and maturity. A lot of churches strongly advise against Halloween, and I understand why. But I also think not everything has to be approached in extremes. Sometimes wisdom looks like discernment, not just […]

There’s something I’ve been noticing more and more in modern churches—and honestly, it doesn’t sit right with me. A lot of churches today are trying really hard to appeal to younger generations. Late-night events, music, games, “safe” party environments with virgin drinks—it’s all designed to feel fun, relatable, and engaging. And to be clear, none of that […]

Lately, I’ve noticed a growing trend in churches: labeling “young adult” groups as ages 18–36. And honestly… I disagree. Yes, 18 is a young adult. But 36? That’s a completely different stage of life. At 18, you’re either still in high school, just graduated, or just beginning to step into the real world. You’re figuring […]

But if I’m being honest, I don’t fully agree with that. Yes, women supporting women is important. There’s power in unity, encouragement, and creating spaces where women feel safe, understood, and uplifted. I respect that—and I even promote that. But I think the narrative becomes unbalanced when it turns into blaming men as the primary […]

My story is different. I didn’t come from privilege. I didn’t have a family full of connections or opportunities waiting for me. I came from low income, difficult living conditions, and had to figure life out step by step on my own. I’ve worked jobs people overlook—like being a janitor. Jobs that aren’t seen as […]

When I was a kid, I used to dream about becoming a teacher. I pictured a classroom, a chalkboard, students sitting at desks, and me standing at the front, guiding, explaining, helping people understand things they didn’t before. At the time, that’s what “teaching” looked like to me. But life has a way of unfolding […]

People might not understand you at first—and that’s okay. Eventually, they will. They’ll realize, “that’s just how you get down.” They’ll see you’re not a threat, not harmful—just real. And in time, you’ll be loved for living in your truth. I experienced this firsthand in high school. At first, I was judged for my style. […]

Sometimes we receive a message that may bless others, but its first assignment is to heal, confront, and transform us. That’s what this journey has been for me. My book’s preface encourages truth and self-love—and now I see that I’m not just writing those words, I’m living them. Every time I show up on my […]

In 2015, I was in a very vulnerable place. Just two years had passed since my 2013 rape, and I was still healing—emotionally raw, low on self-esteem, confused, and longing for love. During that time, I met an older man online who initially seemed kind. But soon, his true colors showed. He was controlling and […]

In many Christian circles, there’s this unspoken “rule” that a man must always do the pursuing in dating. You’ve probably heard someone quote Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds favor with the Lord.” But if we read carefully, this verse doesn’t tell us who should approach whom—it simply highlights the blessing of finding a good […]

Sometimes, life answers our prayers… just not the way we expect. Back in 2023, I was still pursuing a career in cosmetology. I dreamed of building a client base, I had once even created a hairstylist profile on style seat, But there was one problem: fear. I was quiet, hesitant, and never passed out a […]

Many churches strongly caution against drunkenness—and rightly so—but rarely do they offer guidance for when someone finds themselves already intoxicated. As a believer who has faced this reality, I want to share what actually works, without judgment. What I’ve learned from experience: The takeaway:Faith doesn’t have to mean ignoring reality. Shaming alone isn’t helpful. Compassionate […]

One of the saddest and most damaging realities many rape survivors—especially young women—face is not just the assault itself, but what happens after they speak up. Imagine a teenage girl or a young adult woman being raped after going to a party or visiting a guy’s house. She does what people always say victims should […]

Many people think that being generous as a Christian means giving endlessly — no limits, no questions, no boundaries. Some churches even teach that the “more you give, the more blessed you’ll be,” which can make generosity feel like a spiritual burden rather than an act of love. But the truth is, boundaries are not […]

Many parents want to guide their children with care and discipline, but sometimes strict parenting—especially in religious households—can unintentionally put teens and young adults in danger. The problem isn’t discipline itself; it’s when moral judgment becomes the lens through which parents see every decision, leaving children unable to ask for help when it matters most. The […]

Many parents and church spaces often give warnings, especially to young women like: On the surface, these sound like safety tips. But take a closer look: the focus is almost always on controlling women’s behavior rather than addressing the real risk—sexual assault. Rarely is there a mention of what happens if a woman is raped or assaulted. Rarely […]

I was always on the go—working, shopping, going out to eat, partying—anything to keep moving. From the outside, it didn’t look like anything was wrong. I looked “busy,” “social,” even “happy.” But the truth was, I was running. Running from the pain.Running from the memories.Running from the reality of what happened to me. Because as […]

Consent is not defined by relationship status. It is not owed, assumed, or guaranteed. True consent is freely given, without pressure, fear, guilt, or manipulation. If someone feels they cannot say no without consequences—like arguments, withdrawal, or threats to the relationship—that is not genuine consent. That dynamic can fall under sexual abuse, even if it doesn’t […]

One of the most important things Christian parents need to understand is this: your child’s walk with God will not be perfect—and it was never meant to be. Growth in faith does not come from getting everything right. It comes from learning, falling, repenting, and choosing to return to God again and again. A life […]

When someone you care about has survived sexual assault, it can be difficult to know how to support them—especially when it comes to dating or relationships. While well-meaning advice often comes from a place of concern, certain comments can unintentionally cause harm. Here are some important guidelines on what not to say and how to be truly […]

Jealousy in church communities, especially among women, is a topic that isn’t often discussed openly—but it’s real and can affect relationships, mentorship, and the overall atmosphere of a congregation. One reason jealousy can run high is demographics. Many churches have more women than men, and this imbalance can create a sense of competition. Women who are […]

Women’s conferences are often advertised as spaces for healing, growth, and spiritual encouragement. Yet, if we pause and reflect, there’s more nuance that often gets overlooked—especially for women balancing marriage, children, and life’s responsibilities. Life Happens Outside the Conference Room Not every woman can drop everything to attend a weekend event. Kids have games, husbands […]

We lift up every pregnant teen mom to You with love and without judgment. You see their hearts, their fears, and their needs. We ask that You surround them with peace, comfort, and strength during this time that can feel overwhelming mentally and emotionally. Lord, provide for every young mother and every pregnant teen—whether they’ve […]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I’m just going to say it plainly: some women’s church conferences and events lack compassion—and it shows. I remember attending a women’s event where the speaker said, “you don’t have to lay on your back for a man.” And while I understand the message behind it—self-worth, boundaries, respect—the […]

Strict parenting is often disguised as love and protection—but when it becomes controlling, it can quietly block the very growth it’s meant to support. Childhood, teenage years, and early adulthood are not meant to be lived in a bubble. These are the years where you’re supposed to step outside your comfort zone, make mistakes, explore, […]

I recently saw a reel on Instagram where a pastor said, “No man wants to marry a sassy type of woman.” And I just… paused. 🤔 Let’s be real: there are plenty of confident, outspoken, “sassy” women who are happily married or will be. Statements like this aren’t guidance—they’re judgment. They tell women that their personality, the […]

When it comes to gun ownership, much of the public conversation focuses on crime and safety—but there’s another risk that often gets overlooked: suicide. Research consistently shows that having access to a firearm significantly increases the risk of dying by suicide. The Lethality Factor One of the key reasons guns increase suicide risk is lethality. Firearms are highly […]

Spiritual abuse in the church or even within families often hides under the guise of “biblical instruction” or “parental authority.” It can be subtle, but its effects are real and damaging. Many survivors describe it as strict rules and impossible expectations—rules that, if not followed perfectly, lead to harsh punishment, threats, or guilt. Scripture may be […]

Sometimes, I look back at prayers I earnestly prayed—prayers God didn’t answer, or didn’t answer in my timing—and I realize now it was for my own good. Not getting everything you want isn’t failure or neglect. It’s a blessing. Think about it: if God gave us everything exactly when we wanted, would we truly be […]

For a long time, many of us have been taught—directly or indirectly—that emotions are dangerous. That feeling too much means you’re not spiritual enough. That anger is wrong. That sadness is wrong. That if we were truly walking with God, we would always be at peace, always smiling, always “okay.” But that’s not the full […]

Sometimes life unfolds in ways so profound, so symbolic, that you can’t help but see the hand of God in it. For me, that revelation came when I reflected on the timeline of my healing and purpose—and realized how deeply it mirrors the ultimate story of suffering, death, and resurrection. It began in April 2013, just […]

There’s another layer to this that really opened my eyes. The same family member who was quick to be involved—quick to talk, assume, and insert herself into a vulnerable moment—has been noticeably absent when it comes to anything positive in my life. We didn’t even have that kind of relationship to begin with. Yet somehow, […]

One of the most painful things people don’t talk about after sexual assault is this: sometimes the harm doesn’t stop with the assault itself. Sometimes it continues through the words, assumptions, and ignorance of the people around you—especially family. After my rape, I was already dealing with fear, confusion, and the very real concern of […]

Somewhere along the way, women were taught a dangerous lie:that if a man keeps chasing you, won’t take no for an answer, and refuses to give up… it must mean he really loves you. But let’s be honest—that’s not love. That’s persistence without permission. And sometimes, it’s something much darker. We’ve romanticized behavior that should […]

Many churches teach forgiveness like it’s just “move on and forget it.” But forgiveness doesn’t erase consequences or remove the need for confrontation. Think about it like this: you can’t rob a bank and expect to avoid jail. Even if the bank or police choose to forgive you, consequences still exist—and for a reason. Forgiveness […]

There’s a common misconception that disagreeing with someone—especially in a church setting—is a moral failure. Some people equate disagreement with evil, lack of love, or even unforgiveness. But the truth is far more freeing: disagreement is natural, healthy, and does not make you a bad person. You can love someone and still disagree with them. You can […]

When people judge others based on appearance, they often think they know the full story. But the truth is, assumptions can be very misleading. Recently I shared how an elder at my church told me that wearing a crop top was “signaling to men that I’m sexually available.” That statement says more about assumptions than […]

I recently saw a teenage girl online share that she didn’t find out she was pregnant until she was 24 weeks. She said she thought she was still having her period during that time. In reality, it may have been pregnancy bleeding, which can sometimes happen due to hormonal changes or complications. Stories like this are […]

Many people think of consent only in private or sexual situations, but it’s just as important in public spaces. Even if you’re in a committed relationship or married, your partner should still check in with you before showing affection in public. Public displays of affection—like holding hands, hugging, or kissing—can be uncomfortable or embarrassing for […]

Sexual intimacy isn’t just about physical acts—it’s also about communication, trust, and yes, words. For some people, words like “slut,” “whore,” or even “b****” can be exciting and erotic in the bedroom. It might sound extreme, but in the right context, with trust and consent, these words for some people can actually enhance intimacy and […]

I recently saw a story online where a mother gifted her 18-year-old daughter a fully paid house and car. On the surface, it seems amazing—a parent giving their child a secure future—but it also raises some important questions about timing, independence, and personal growth. At 18, most young adults are just stepping into adulthood. Many […]

One thing I’ve learned in my healing journey is that there’s a huge difference between the way people correct and the way God corrects. In many church spaces, correction is often framed as love. Scripture does say that God corrects those He loves. But unfortunately, what sometimes gets labeled as “correction” in the church can actually become control, […]

It’s funny—back in 2021, before I had even fully acknowledged my own rape, I visited a church ⛪️. During that visit, the pastor approached my mom and told her I was healing from abuse. He didn’t go into the details, and he didn’t say, “All you have to do is forgive to be healed.” Instead, […]

Too often, survivors of rape are told by well-meaning church leaders or friends: “Just forgive, and you’ll be healed.”While forgiveness can be a personal choice in the healing journey, this advice oversimplifies something profoundly complex. The truth is, struggling after rape is not a sign of unforgiveness. It’s a natural response to trauma—one that affects the mind, […]

After my rape, I found myself believing I was pregnant. On the surface, it might seem like a simple fear or a psychological reaction—but for me, it had layers, meanings, and mechanisms that went far beyond the obvious. Trauma doesn’t just affect the body; it rewires the mind in ways that are both subtle and […]

I’ve attended church conferences—healing conferences, youth conferences, you name it. And I’ve learned something important from my own experiences: a conference can never replace God. I remember going to a healing conference when I was about 11. I hoped and expected to receive immediate healing—but nothing happened. I felt discouraged 🫤. Yet, over time, God still […]

Have you ever noticed how humility plays out differently in the world compared to the church? Think about a restaurant, for example. The staff and leaders there—managers, chefs, servers—don’t demand respect or reverence. They aren’t worried about titles or appearances. Their focus is simple: serving the guests, making sure everyone is comfortable, and ensuring the […]

It’s a curious thing: sometimes, the world seems to understand love better than the church ⛪️. And it’s not about preaching — it’s about living it. Imagine this scenario: a pregnant, unwed mother walks into a church. Immediately, she’s met with sideways glances, whispered gossip, and judgment. She’s told where she can and cannot sit, […]

One of the ways favoritism shows up in church is through how leaders demand respect, honor, or reverence. Many elders and church leaders expect members to treat them in a special way simply because of their position. While respect is natural for guidance and wisdom, it can cross a line when it’s demanded rather than earned through […]

One thing I’ve noticed is how favoritism often shows up in church spaces. Only some people’s voices are heard. Only some gifts are recognized and used. Certain people seem to have influence or “visibility,” while others, despite their talents or heart for service, remain on the sidelines. It can feel discouraging, even unfair. But here’s […]

One thing that many people don’t talk about enough is this: a lot of people who were raped—whether in childhood or adulthood—don’t always recognize it as rape until years later. A person who was raped at 12 may not realize what actually happened until they are 25. Someone who was raped at 25 may not […]

When I was younger, someone once told me something about pregnancy that stuck with me. They said that even if a man simply places his penis on the outside of a woman’s vagina, pregnancy could still occur. The focus of the conversation was clearly about biology and the risk of pregnancy. But there was something […]

When many people think about marriage, they imagine romance, intimacy, and passion between two people who love each other. Because of this image, a lot of people struggle to understand that rape can happen within a marriage. Part of this misunderstanding may come from the way marriage is publicly celebrated. Think about a typical wedding […]

While reflecting on a recent women’s conference I attended, something stood out to me. There was a strong promise that people would be set free. While freedom is absolutely a part of God’s will, it made me think more deeply about something important: true freedom cannot be guaranteed or forced by another person. Freedom is something that […]

After experiencing something as painful as rape, it’s natural to feel broken, lost, and even fearful of what the future holds. Yet, in the midst of that pain, I found myself desiring pregnancy — and I now see it in a new light: as a form of God’s protection and favor. Pregnancy is life growing […]

In many church spaces, unforgiveness and bitterness are sometimes treated as if they are the worst sins a person could commit. In some environments, people are even made to feel like if they are struggling to forgive—especially after deep trauma—that they are somehow cut off from God. But when we actually look at Scripture, the […]

One thing I have been thinking about is this: if unforgiveness supposedly blocks us from hearing God, then how do we explain the scriptures that say God will never leave us? The Bible says in Hebrews 13:5 that God will never leave us nor forsake us. That’s a very strong promise. It doesn’t say God will leave if […]

The world, especially the church world often sees celebrities as living in a bubble of wealth, fame, and luxury — but the reality behind the scenes can be harsh, fast-paced, and unloving. Life in Hollywood and other high-profile industries isn’t just glamorous; it’s also isolating, competitive, and often unforgiving. For many celebrities, turning to God […]

One of the most powerful habits we can teach children—and practice ourselves—is praying over every area of life in advance. This isn’t about preventing every challenge or hardship, but about creating a strong spiritual blueprint that guides us through every season. I think about my own experiences, particularly my trauma at 20. I can’t help […]

Getting older often brings clarity—and sometimes disappointment—about the spaces we’ve trusted. One of the areas this becomes very apparent is in church prayer. Not all prayers are rooted in genuine care or well-meaning intentions. Some can unintentionally—or intentionally—be manipulative, designed to impress, control, or even silence. I remember once at a church, someone prayed for […]

It’s easy to feel desperate in spiritual communities, especially when we’re longing for healing, marriage, or breakthrough. But desperation can be dangerous—it often clouds judgment, leads to unrealistic expectations, and can even hurt our faith journey. 1. Desperation Clouds Discernment When we’re desperate, we tend to believe anything that seems like a solution. Someone tells […]

One of the most important lessons a child can learn is that their body, feelings, and space belong to them. Too often, adults—whether parents, relatives, teachers, or pastors—are viewed as “untouchable” authorities. But the truth is, boundaries apply to everyone. Children should be taught that they can set limits with anyone, regardless of age or status. Why Boundaries […]

It’s common in some church circles to hear promises of total freedom from all negative emotions—anger, bitterness, frustration, sadness. The idea is appealing: imagine a life where nothing bothers you, no resentment lingers, and you’re perfectly joyful all the time. But the reality? That’s not human life. We live in a broken world, and being […]

Silence around trauma—whether it’s rape, suicide, or other forms of abuse—does not protect anyone. In families and church communities, covering up these painful truths may feel like preserving peace, but it often perpetuates harm. Speaking honestly, however, is an act of protection, not just for ourselves, but for everyone who comes after us. When we […]

As adults, we often think we know what’s best for children — especially when it comes to family, friends, teachers, or community leaders. But here’s the truth: if your child doesn’t like someone, it’s important to listen, not force them to hug, kiss, or “forgive” that person. Children have an innate ability to sense energy, […]

Talking about someone behind their back can be incredibly dangerous. Facts become blurred, assumptions take over, and misconceptions begin to form. When those false narratives spread, they can damage someone’s reputation, relationships, and even their mental health. Sometimes the person being talked about may hear what was said or see it online. When that happens, […]

In many church spaces, when prayers seem unanswered, the immediate assumption is often unforgiveness. While unforgiveness can certainly affect a person spiritually, it’s not the only factor that may influence outcomes. Sometimes the issue isn’t spiritual blockage—it’s misalignment between the prayer and the person’s actions. For example, someone may pray daily for a financial breakthrough, yet refuse […]

A common teaching in some churches is that if you are unable to hear God clearly, it must be because of unforgiveness in your heart. While unforgiveness can affect us spiritually and emotionally, the truth is that it is not always the reason someone feels they cannot hear God. Sometimes you may not hear God […]

Recently I received a message from church encouraging members to pray for three people by name every day for 21 days and to invite them to church for Easter. While prayer and invitations can come from a good place, it made me reflect on something important: when witnessing becomes pressure instead of something natural. Many […]

In many church spaces, young women are often given the same message: “Don’t wear that, you’ll tempt the men.”“Men are visual.”“Cover up so your brothers in Christ don’t stumble.” These statements are usually presented as wisdom or protection. But when you stop and examine them closely, they raise an important question: is this truly protection, or […]

At a recent women’s conference, a message about love caught my attention—not in a good way. The teaching seemed to push a type of love that felt forced: “You better hug, you better speak, you better give.” While the intention may have been good, this approach can be potentially harmful, especially for vulnerable people and children. […]

One of the most misunderstood truths in Christian life is this: life issues are part of life. Being saved doesn’t automatically shield us from struggles, and facing difficulties doesn’t always mean there’s unforgiveness in your heart. Many people believe that if you’re walking with God and still struggling, it must be because of some hidden sin […]

In both spiritual and sexual contexts, grooming often starts subtly—with flattery, attention, or gifts. In the spiritual realm, it can be harder to detect because it’s wrapped in the language of faith, guidance, and mentorship. Understanding the patterns of spiritual grooming can help you protect your heart and maintain healthy boundaries. How Spiritual Grooming Often […]

It’s easy to think that when we don’t clearly hear from God, it’s because of unforgiveness—but that’s not always true. While unforgiveness can create a block in our hearts, God doesn’t reveal everything all at once, and some things remain a mystery by His design. Some key truths I’ve learned: In short, hearing God isn’t […]

Many people think an encounter with God has to be dramatic, emotional, public, and drawn out for hours. But that’s not always how God moves. In early September 2023, I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. It was a very heavy and painful time in my life. There was no church service happening, no altar call, […]

Recently I heard an elder say that if a child is cutting themselves, it’s because they don’t feel loved. While that can be one reason, it is not the only reason—and reducing something as serious as self-harm to just one explanation can be harmful. Self-harm is complex. Children, teens, and even adults who struggle with it may […]

One of the most harmful things I’ve heard in church spaces is the phrase: “You just have to forgive and forget.” When people talk about rape or abuse, that advice gets thrown around quickly, as if healing is supposed to happen instantly. But that was not my experience with God at all. After my rape happened, […]

At a women’s conference today, one question really stood out: “What would you do if you had $10,000?” Many answers were inspiring: “I would serve others,” “I’d give to charity,” “I’d help someone in need.” And there’s nothing wrong with that. Acts of service are beautiful, and generosity reflects God’s love. But here’s the subtle truth […]

Christians are often taught that God’s love is perfect and unconditional, and that human love falls short by comparison. That’s true—but it doesn’t mean human love is evil or wrong. Human love, whether from the saved or unsaved, naturally has limitations and changes over time. That’s simply human nature. Most people experience love in their […]

September last year, my older sister and I attended a women’s event—not a church event, not explicitly Christian—but it left a lasting impression. What struck me immediately was how different it felt from many church spaces I’ve experienced. There were women of all kinds, yet the atmosphere was fun, authentic, and relaxed. There was no shaming, no […]

Women are often criticized for getting plastic surgery, and honestly, I think the judgment can be a bit silly. Personally, plastic surgery probably isn’t something I would choose for myself, but I also believe in a simple principle: to each their own. Every woman has the right to make decisions about her own body. If […]

Many churches teach that forgiveness is the key to hearing God clearly, and while forgiveness is indeed powerful, the reality is more nuanced. Forgiveness does not automatically equal clarity in your spiritual life, and misunderstanding this can leave people frustrated, confused, and even doubting their faith. Here’s the truth: you can be a very forgiving person […]

Pregnancy often changes how a woman views herself and her future. Even women who are struggling emotionally often find strength because they feel responsible for the life growing inside of them. That sense of purpose can push someone to keep living, keep trying, and keep hoping. Looking back, I can see that believing I was […]

Forgiveness is one of the most commonly preached messages in church. In many sermons, believers are reminded that forgiveness is powerful, necessary, and part of following Jesus Christ. I believe forgiveness is beautiful and meaningful. But over time I’ve also noticed something that deserves honest conversation: sometimes the way forgiveness is preached lacks compassion, discernment, and […]

Many people believe that if a couple waits until marriage, everything about intimacy will automatically fall into place. The assumption is that once the wedding happens, comfort will appear instantly and both people will naturally know what to do. But that isn’t always reality. Waiting until marriage may reflect values, faith, discipline, or personal conviction—but […]

After my rape, many people didn’t support me. Some treated me as if my pain, my life, and my worth didn’t matter. Even after I rebuilt my life and became a successful author, some of those same people still acted as though I was less important. The lesson I’ve learned is simple, though hard: some […]

After my rape, I had to find ways to survive. I tried many different strategies to heal and feel “normal” again. Some of these strategies were unhealthy or even harmful, but at the time, they were the best ways I knew to cope. It took me a long time to understand that healing isn’t linear. […]

Another common message women hear is that men only want one type of body: big breasts, a big butt, perfect curves, and a specific figure. But real life rarely works that way. There’s a widespread misconception that if a woman just had bigger breasts or a larger butt, she would automatically attract men. Yet attraction […]

It’s interesting how often women are told what they should or shouldn’t wear because of men. “You shouldn’t wear that, men will think you’re easy.”“That skirt is too short.”“Men don’t like women who show too much.”“Men prefer this body type.”“Men will judge you if you look like that.” But if we’re being honest, many of […]

2. how many kids do I want? 1-3 max, I know for certain my first child will be a boy! 👦🏽🩵💙 3. Something I want to do more of? Skating

Sometimes, the most profound lessons in life come from the smallest companions. For me, that companion was my Yorkie, The Fuzzy Koala, who was by my side from 2011 to 2023. Looking back now, I realize he may have been one of the reasons I stayed alive during some of the hardest years of my life. […]

After my rape, I remember having a strong desire to get pregnant on my birthday. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why that thought felt so important to me. Looking back now, I realize it wasn’t truly about wanting a baby in the typical sense. It was about something much deeper. My rapist was […]

Recently, I had a small but interesting moment at church that really made me think about authenticity in faith. I wore a crop top to church. Nothing wild—just a normal outfit that showed a little of my stomach. One of the older female elders came up to me in a playful but slightly scolding way […]

In today’s world, conversations about safety need to include guns. Whether it’s the risk of accidental shootings, curiosity about firearms, or the increased danger of suicide, children need guidance to understand and respect these tools. Avoiding the topic doesn’t make it safer—education does. Start Age-Appropriate Conversations Emphasize Safety Practices Address Accidental Shootings Stories, when shared […]

Parenting with faith can provide guidance, morals, and a sense of structure, but when strict religious rules are enforced without compassion or understanding, the consequences can be devastating. In extreme cases, children may feel trapped, ashamed, or hopeless — sometimes to the point of considering self-harm. I recently saw someone on social media admit they […]

Even if it seems subtle, this reinforces shame, guilt, and self-doubt, which are already heightened in depression. The Consequences

I’ve heard it said many times in casual conversations, “Ain’t no jumping in and out of me, but you can’t give up no money.” And honestly… that phrasing bothers me. It should be reframed as: “Ain’t no jumping in and out of me unless there’s consent.” Sex isn’t a transaction. It’s not a bargaining chip, […]

I want to share something from my heart about church conferences, deliverance, and freedom. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with conferences or public events—they can be powerful for some people. But I can honestly testify that my own freedom and healing from my trauma came in private. For me, a personal encounter with God—quiet, intimate, and one-on-one—was […]

“My book isn’t just a story. It’s a movement in miniature—touching lives, one copy at a time.” “Certificates sit on walls. Books travel hands, hearts, and minds. That’s real impact.”

Women’s conferences are meant to inspire—but sometimes they tell you how to be more than who to become. Many “rules” aren’t even biblical—they’re culture, tradition, or opinion packaged as truth. God made women diverse: There’s no single template for a “godly woman.” Your identity should extend beyond church walls. Explore your gifts, your passions, your personality. Faith guides, it […]

Recently, many people have debated whether Miss Shirley’s dancing is “too grown” or overly sexualized for a child. Conversations like this often reveal deeper issues about how society views children—especially young Black girls. One important question people raise is whether reactions would be different if the child performer were white. Historically, society has often treated […]

When beauty expectations start too soon, some children may begin to believe they are more worthy of attention or love when they look a certain way. Waiting until around ages 12–15 allows a girl to have a stronger sense of identity and maturity, so makeup becomes a form of self-expression rather than something tied to […]

In today’s world of dating apps, swiping left and right has become the norm. But sometimes the best connections happen in the most natural and unexpected places. Meeting someone in person allows chemistry, personality, and genuine interaction to unfold without the pressure of profiles or algorithms. Here are three surprisingly great places to meet a […]

Honest thought: I sometimes feel like dating was easier and better before dating books, apps, podcasts, and social media took over everything. Back then, dating required creativity. It required personality. People had to actually interact with each other in real life. Both men and women had to have good “game.” There was mystery, excitement, and […]

But writing my book was the complete opposite. It was fun, freeing, healing, and confidence-boosting. For the first time, I had full creative control. I could write from my heart, share my truth, and create something meaningful in my own voice. Looking back, maybe those academic experiences weren’t in vain. At the time, I planned […]

I’ve seen it too many times—especially women being judged for their sexuality, labeled as “sluts,” and shamed for choices that no one fully understands. What people often miss is that sex is not always just about pleasure or desire—it can be a coping mechanism, a way to process pain, or even a way to reclaim a […]

Sometimes when I sit in church, I notice something that makes me pause and reflect. Recently the preacher was talking about alcohol. While I understood the message and the intention behind it, the tone felt more condemning than compassionate. The truth is, many people don’t turn to alcohol simply because they want to do something […]

If you’re in a bad season, don’t rush to label your life by what you’re going through. God has the final say. He sees every detail, every tear, every injustice — and He decides what needs to be done. I’ve been through so much hell. There were moments I could have judged my entire life […]

This year my church declared the “word of the year” as fierce focus. And listen — I get it. Focus matters. Discipline matters. Distractions can absolutely delay purpose. Being intentional about your life is wise. There is nothing wrong with encouraging people to tighten up, lock in, and be serious about what God has placed in […]

There’s an old narrative that says women should keep quiet about rape. That speaking up brings shame. That it’s better to “move on” and protect everyone else’s comfort. I refused that narrative. I’m grateful I didn’t let older voices silence me with advice rooted in fear, reputation, or denial. I chose healing over hiding. I […]

For years, I was told I wouldn’t be able to move out.That I didn’t know how to drive well enough.That I wasn’t ready.That I wasn’t capable. It’s interesting how people can look at you and decide your limits for you. What they didn’t realize is this: I survived a rape without support. Not just the […]

Sexual assault is one of the most devastating experiences a child can go through. As parents, your instincts often push you to protect, comfort, or fix things quickly—but when it comes to rape, some of these responses can unintentionally cause more harm than good. Here’s what every parent needs to know: 1. Don’t Tell Your Child […]

It’s no secret most of us been to painting with a twist before, I went back in 2022 for the first time and I loved it. It’s painting but not just any painting it’s special because you can basically paint however you see fit, although they have the painting idea/design set in mind, you can […]

Being told to remove the rape chapter in my book felt exactly like being told to have an abortion. Hear me out. In both cases, the pressure comes from people who believe they know better than you — parents, authority figures, leaders. They might say, “You’re too young to handle this,” or “It’ll make the family/church look bad,” or “It’s […]

“Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities. Ephesians 3:20  Now […]

There was a time I was spending loads of money on cosmetology supplies. Hair.Products.Tools.Inventory.Restocks.More restocks. I didn’t complain — I believed in investing in my craft. I believed in showing up polished, prepared, professional. I was funding someone else’s formulas, someone else’s packaging, someone else’s brand vision. And then something shifted. I stopped just buying […]

🌍 I Used My Voice Too The other day I sat and thought about all the people who came before me. The ones who created the cartoons.The sitcoms.The hit songs.The characters we still quote today. Somewhere, at some point, someone had an idea. And they had to decide whether to keep it to themselves… or […]

Funny thing—I’ve noticed a pattern. Parents, churches, even society at large: people are okay with a cartoon character dropping a bleeped word here and there, teaching a lesson in between laughs. Remember that episode of Arthur? Sure, there’s a swear, but it’s “educational,” safe, and digestible. Now…say you try to talk honestly about your own trauma. […]

Most churches focus primarily on uplifting topics like love, forgiveness, finances, and marriage—subjects that feel safe and universally “comfortable.” While these messages have value, they often leave out the raw, painful realities many people are living with every day: rape, depression, anxiety, suicide, infertility, and the grief of losing a child. My book refuses to […]

I remember a church skit I saw as a child. It depicted a young woman being lured into a car by a man who was aggressive—but that was it. There was no explanation, no context, no language for what was happening. Kids were left to interpret it on their own. Someone should have said, either […]

I want to take a moment to talk about something that’s been on my heart for a long time—fear-based messaging in the church. I remember going to “Hell Night” when I was just 10 years old. It was intense, scary, and yes, it made me realize that evil and hell are real. But even as […]

In 2024, on my birthday, I remember saying something that felt small at the time. I said I didn’t have a “hot career” — and I was okay with that. I wasn’t bitter.I wasn’t rushing.I wasn’t trying to compete. I was content. And that’s what makes this so powerful. Because by my 2025 birthday, everything […]

After my rape, my strength wasn’t loud. It wasn’t a speech.It wasn’t revenge.It wasn’t even fully understood by the people around me. It was steady.Quiet.Developing in small, consistent ways. One of those ways was cosmetology school. At first glance, it might just look like career training. Beauty school. Learning hair. Learning technique. But when I […]

Funny enough… I ended up creating my own catalog anyway, but not in the way I imagined. Through my book 📕, I displayed my creativity, my ideas, my visions—my designs had a platform, even if it wasn’t on a store shelf. I realized I didn’t need permission or validation to showcase my work; I could […]

I’m 33. And sometimes I sit back and think—this is the life I was supposed to be living at 23. The joy. The clarity. The confidence. The success. The peace. But trauma interrupted that timeline. When you experience rape, when you go through deep emotional trauma, something gets stolen. Not just innocence—but years. Development. Safety. Lightness. […]

There are many nail techs.Many cosmetologists.Many fashion designers. People who shape image.People who enhance beauty.People who curate presentation. But there are not many authors who will sit down and write the truth about their trauma — authentically, rawly, without filtering it for comfort. And I understand why. Because telling the truth about trauma costs something. […]

There’s something people don’t say enough: Age does not automatically equal understanding. Yes, older women have lived longer.Yes, they have some experience. But experience is not universal. And that matters. Different Lives. Different Lenses. I was raped when I was young, so if a 40-year-old woman never experienced sexual violence, how can she fully advise […]

When people hear the word consent, they usually think about sex. But consent doesn’t start in bedrooms.It starts in everyday moments. It starts when someone asks you to change your words.It starts when someone pressures you to shrink your truth.It starts when an authority figure subtly suggests you “adjust” yourself to be more acceptable. For me, […]

Most of us know about happy hour, it’s usually when a bar has a special on drinks and people can get as many drinks as they want due to the reduced prices! However, I am talking about a completely different happy hour, listen God is always running a special and we can always get as […]

When I was 20, I faced a reality no one should have to navigate. I had been raped, and I was trying to process it while still figuring out how to take care of myself. I remember using a code language with my mom—my way of signaling what had happened without fully exposing myself to […]

For a long time after my rape, I didn’t have the language to say what had happened to me. I couldn’t bring myself to say the word “rape,” even though I had been through something life-changing. Instead, I said I was pregnant. At the time, it was easier to process—and easier to share. Pregnancy is […]

I was 12 or 13 when someone older took me to a bigger, farther mall than I expected — and offered to pay for my outfit. At the time, I didn’t question it. I didn’t know that their “generosity” was a subtle test of my boundaries. Predators often start small: At that age, children don’t […]

In many Black church spaces, plays are meant to teach moral lessons. They warn against sin, celebrate redemption, and model godly womanhood. But sometimes, without anyone saying it directly, they teach something else. They teach girls their place. The Pattern on Stage In one church play, a darker-skinned girl portrayed the character who had an […]

I remember being in a teen church play. One line: “You can do a whole lot of good to me”—in a flirty tone. All Black teens, all trying to act “innocent,” all being watched by adults who thought it was harmless. But it wasn’t innocent. This is what subtle sexualization looks like. A line like that […]

There’s an assumption in some Christian spaces that if an unmarried couple gets “too close,” sex is inevitable. As if desire automatically overrides discipline.As if privacy guarantees failure.As if adults lose all agency the moment a door closes. But here’s a question: If we assume a dating couple will automatically have sex when alone, isn’t […]

There was a time when my name was printed in small, thin letters on a cosmetology license. Under my name was a number.A license number. It proved I passed the exam.It proved I was authorized.It proved I was registered. I remember feeling lucky. Accomplished. Validated. But that license stayed tucked away in a wallet.Folded. Hidden.And […]

I am not burning in hell. I am burning with clarity.Burning with conviction.Burning with purpose. The Devil couldn’t burn me, instead I burned him  And every lie that once tried to define me is turning to ash. Truth does not fear the flame. I am a fiery author! My book was released on a hot […]

We tend to define violence by bruises.By broken bones.By visible damage. But some of the deepest violations don’t always leave fingerprints on the skin. Rape is violent. That truth is undeniable. It is a violation of bodily autonomy — a forceful taking of control over someone else’s body. Racial profiling is not always physically violent. […]

I remember when I was preparing to move into an apartment with roommates. One of my roommates was white, and many people were excited for me. Some close to me assumed that the white girl and I would become best friends, hang out all the time, and have an easy, fun living situation. But when […]

Remember Kim Kardashian’s infamous “Break the Internet” photoshoot? The world couldn’t stop talking about it—magazines, blogs, social media—praise everywhere. Yet imagine if Beyoncé or any other black celebrity woman had done the same photoshoot. The reaction would have been drastically different. Black women are often hypersexualized in stereotypes, but when they embrace their own sexuality publicly, society […]

Racial profiling doesn’t only happen on highways or in stores.Sometimes it happens at the dinner table. I know someone who got pregnant while unmarried. She was grown — not a child — but still, her parents were furious. Disappointed. Cold. The father was a Black man. Time passed. She got pregnant again, still unmarried.This time, […]

Imagine this: a 19- or 20-year-old girl becomes pregnant. Now, picture the news breaking in the media or even in a small community circle. If she’s white, Asian, or Hispanic, the reaction is often one of acceptance—or even delight. People assume she and her boyfriend will likely stay together, perhaps marry, and continue pursuing their […]

I remember a few months after my rape, talking to someone who was supposed to be my godmother. At first, it felt like relief—I thought I might finally have someone to confide in. But as we talked, I realized she was just itching to hear me admit I had sex. That’s it. Not concern, not compassion—just that […]

Society often insists that a pregnancy must lead to marriage. But what if two young people are pushed into a marriage they don’t truly want? The result is often resentment, stress, and a relationship built on obligation rather than love. Marriage should be about choice, connection, and mutual respect—not pressure or expectation. When young couples […]

This isn’t just my story. It’s an invitation to witness, to connect, to feel the truth in every page.

When I was 13 years old, I had my life all mapped out. I was going to be a fashion designer. I even had the name of my clothing line picked out — Change — with a butterfly 🦋 logo. Very early 2000s. Very dramatic. Very me. I was sure that was the plan. But God had […]

When I got my driver’s license, I was excited. It felt like freedom. Growth. A new chapter. But instead of being encouraged to aim higher, I was heavily steered toward driving a family member’s old car. Now, on the surface, that sounds practical. New cars cost money. Insurance is high for new drivers. Accidents happen. […]

I remember a family member once saying that my parents needed to be strict on my sisters and me because we were girls. At the time, I didn’t understand it. We weren’t wild.We weren’t reckless.We weren’t out of control. So why did our gender automatically require policing? Now that I’m older, I understand. It wasn’t really […]

There’s a particular kind of comment that makes my heart sink. “It’s a cop out.”“They couldn’t handle life.”“That’s selfish.” When someone dies by suicide, these phrases surface almost immediately. They sound confident. Decisive. Moral. But they are dangerously simple. Suicide is not simple. The Weight People Don’t See People who die by suicide often aren’t […]

This is not an attack.This is a call to protect. To Black husbands and fathers: stop abusing your Black wives and daughters — physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally. Stop calling them out of their names. Stop tearing down the very women and girls you are called to protect. Stop withholding support, affection, and affirmation. We are […]

Getting older comes with clarity—and sometimes, painful clarity. One of the hardest truths I’ve realized is that sometimes your own people—family, friends, even your church community—don’t want you to break free from the stereotypes. They don’t want you to thrive, succeed, or demand the love and respect you deserve, because they didn’t, and often, they […]

I’ve been reflecting on a moment from when I was around 19 or 20 that, at the time, I didn’t fully process—but now I realize it carries subtle racial undertones. I was talking with a family member about dating, relationships, and life in general, and they said to me, “You’re not ready for a baby.” On […]

I’ve been noticing a trend in church life that doesn’t sit right with me: so many conferences about love, forgiveness, and emotional healing seem to be aimed almost exclusively at women. Hmm 🤔 why is that? It’s no secret that women often carry the brunt of emotional labor—whether in families, friendships, or even in church […]

There’s a truth I’ve wrestled with for years: Some of the most loving, affirming spaces I’ve experienced were not in church. And some of the most performative, predictable, subtly competitive spaces I’ve experienced were. That’s hard to say out loud. But it’s real. The Same Script, Different Year If you’ve attended multiple church women’s conferences, […]

Recently, I came across a social media post where a black mother shared about her life as a parent. Her husband commented, “I’m glad you’re my wife and not my baby mama.” At first glance, it seems like a sweet, loving remark — a man expressing appreciation for his spouse. But when you look closer, […]

In families and media, daughters are often expected to show their love for a romantic partner publicly. It’s almost a given: if she doesn’t post about it, gush over it at family gatherings, or share every cute moment, it’s assumed she’s ashamed of her relationship—or worse, that her feelings aren’t real. But the truth is […]

Matthew 19:14King James Version 14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

I’ve been sitting with something that feels small on the surface — but heavy underneath. I realized I have never heard a white female pastor stand in a pulpit and strongly preach against unplanned pregnancies and preach about abstinence in the way I’ve heard it emphasized in Black church spaces. I’ve never heard the same […]

On the surface, messages about purity can seem well-meaning. When a publicly known individual spoke publicly about remaining a virgin and even presented a “virginity certificate,” many applauded her boldness. Her book No Ring, No Ting promotes abstinence and waiting for marriage. For many young women, especially young Black Christian women, she represents discipline, standards, and faith. But […]

The controversy surrounding T.I. publicly stating that he had his daughter’s hymen checked sparked outrage for many reasons. People debated parenting styles, boundaries, and medical misinformation. But beneath those conversations sits something deeper — a long history of racial profiling and control over Black girls’ bodies. For generations, Black girls have been viewed through a different lens. […]

There are wounds that come from violence — and then there are wounds that come from how people interpret your silence. After experiencing sexual trauma, I didn’t tell my family the full details. I wasn’t ready. I needed space to process something that felt impossible to explain. But instead of questions rooted in care, assumptions […]

I remember being at a church for a prayer night, and the pastor publicly prayed against unplanned pregnancies. This pastor prayed for unplanned pregnancies not to occur. On the surface, it might seem well-meaning—but there were a few things that didn’t sit right with me. First, this was a mostly Black church with mostly Black […]

It’s funny how the church—and society in general—often stigmatizes single-parent households. The messaging can be subtle or overt: “Kids need two parents to succeed” or “This isn’t ideal for a child’s future.” Yet, if you look closer, many people who grew up in single-parent homes are thriving in ways that defy those assumptions. Growing up […]

In many church spaces, success often feels pre-assigned. Pastors, First Ladies, and their families are celebrated for achievements that, in some ways, are expected. When a First Lady writes a book, it’s often heralded as a natural milestone; when her co-author—a successful therapist—joins in, the applause feels almost guaranteed. But what about the rest of us? […]

I once heard a female pastor speak openly about her struggles with dating and marrying later in life. She shared her story with honesty, admitting that she didn’t marry until her mid-30s and didn’t have a child until 40. On the surface, this might sound encouraging—proof that it’s never too late for love. But here’s […]

It’s common in church settings to hear stories about women who married later in life or had children later than expected — sometimes pastors or speakers will highlight their own journeys, like marrying at 36 or having a child at 40. On the surface, it’s meant to be honest and even inspiring. But there’s an […]

I’ve noticed something that always makes me pause: many church leaders talk about morality and caution as if it’s pure concern for the congregation—but when you really look, it often feels like control disguised as care. I remember a female pastor telling a room full of women: “You don’t have to dance seductive like your favorite celebrity.”On […]

When we talk about racial profiling, most people think about police stops, school discipline, or workplace bias. But the truth is, it often starts at home — and for Black girls, it can show up in how they’re allowed to experience normal childhood development. For many Black girls, showing interest in boys — having crushes, […]

We often hear encouraging statements meant to uplift women and girls — messages like “your worth isn’t defined by your chest size, your curves, or your body shape.” On the surface, these words sound positive. They’re meant to build confidence. But sometimes, even well-meaning messages can carry unintended consequences, especially when we stop and think about who […]

When people talk about racial profiling, they usually imagine strangers, employers, or authority figures. But sometimes it shows up in a place that’s supposed to feel safe — at home. I remember being advised to only wear certain hairstyles or avoid certain hair colors because they were considered “too much” or “ghetto.” At the time, […]

I remember a time when I was a few years younger, but still grown, and I traveled to Boston to see a guy. I didn’t tell anyone—not out of shame, but because I wanted to avoid judgment. Of course, my family found out—extended family too—and their worry, while it seemed as if it was coming […]

I’ve noticed something in my own family that made me stop and think. While living at home, an outside family member often told me that I was obligated to help out financially—expected to chip in, pay my share, contribute in ways that sometimes felt burdensome. And yet… in her own home her lighter-skinned daughter, contributed nothing. Wow! […]

I’ve noticed something that rarely gets talked about openly: lighter-skinned Black women often get a pass that darker-skinned Black women do not. This isn’t about jealousy or competition—it’s about bias, assumptions, and stereotypes that run deep in families, communities, and churches. I remember a moment that perfectly illustrated this. A family member commented on me […]

I recently heard a black female pastor preach about her personal struggles with dating and waiting to get married. She spoke honestly about her journey, her patience, and the emotional challenges she faced. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with her honesty—it’s her story, her truth. But here’s the catch: she was the only black woman […]

Too often, abortion testimonies in churches—especially Black churches—end up reinforcing stereotypes rather than breaking them. Black women are disproportionately asked to testify or lead ministries, subtly implying that we are expected to struggle: to get pregnant young, to face unplanned pregnancies, or to struggle in marriage and motherhood. I’ve witnessed this firsthand. At my church, […]

Too often, the story of Black women—especially younger ones—is framed around struggle, heartbreak, or being “held back” by life’s challenges. My co-author flips that script entirely. Yes, she went through a divorce—but it didn’t define her, slow her down, or make her bitter. She owns her life, works hard, and built her own businesses from […]

I’ve noticed a pattern on social media: Black women sharing stories of getting pregnant young, being single, struggling, and then “redeemed” later with marriage or more kids. At first, these testimonies feel inspiring—but the more I see them, the more I wonder: are they genuine, or are they keeping alive the stereotype that Black women must struggle? […]

There’s something that doesn’t sit right with me. If God gives human beings free will — real choice — then why do some church messages sound like threats? “If you don’t forgive, you’ll get sick.”“If you hold bitterness, God will punish you.”“Unforgiveness causes cancer.” Pause. If sin automatically triggered disease, wouldn’t we all be in […]

When I think back on my time pursuing cosmetology, I realize something now that I couldn’t fully see then: sometimes what feels like the right path at first isn’t where you’re meant to stay. Yesterday I talked about experiencing racism in cosmetology school, and reflecting on it now brings a deeper understanding. Most cosmetology programs […]

Sometimes racism doesn’t sound loud or hateful. Sometimes it comes wrapped in smiles, casual conversation, and “concern.” It sounds friendly — but leaves you feeling judged anyway. I remember when I was in cosmetology school. There was a white woman there in her 40s. At first, we talked casually and seemed to get along. Like […]

Personal stories about struggle — including motherhood — can be powerful and healing. A pastor sharing that she struggled emotionally after finally becoming a mother may simply be speaking honestly about her experience. The problem isn’t honesty itself. The tension comes when individual testimony echoes a broader social narrative that already exists about Black women: Because […]

People say the church dislikes Beyoncé because she dances, moves confidently, and embraces her sexuality. But let’s be honest — it feels deeper than that. Beyoncé is a Black woman. A shapely one. Confident. Unapologetic. And history has always judged Black women’s bodies differently. What’s called “empowering” or “artistic” on others often gets labeled “too […]

Church messages like this don’t just advise—they police our bodies. Light-skinned black women rarely get the same scrutiny. The message is loud and clear: your desire is a problem, your skin tone matters, and your humanity is conditional. We deserve guidance that respects us, not sermons that shame us for being human. 💔

It’s striking how society judges Black women differently when it comes to motherhood. A Black woman who’s married and has a large family can be met with criticism or subtle shaming—“too many kids,” “irresponsible,” “overwhelmed”—even when she’s thriving and raising her children well. Contrast that with many Hispanic families, where having big families is often […]

I’ve been thinking… even if I were a light-skinned Black woman, I’d probably have gotten more grace and understanding with my book 📕. It’s not about the content—I worked hard to tell my truth—but about how society unconsciously judges Black women. Colorism isn’t just about beauty or social preference; it shows up in whose stories […]

At first, it might seem harmless—or even like a compliment—but calling young Black women “flirty” is more damaging than most people realize. Here’s why: 1. It sexualizes girls too early.A playful smile or friendly gesture can be misread as sexual intent. This puts young Black women at risk of being judged, scrutinized, or even blamed […]

In many Black churches, young women hear constant messages about waiting, virginity, and avoiding early pregnancy. But here’s the thing—this isn’t just about faith. It’s subtle racial profiling. It assumes we’ll fail, that we’re more likely to get pregnant early or make “wrong” choices. Instead of compassion, these messages can feel judgmental, shaming, and rooted […]

Church is supposed to be a place where people feel seen beyond labels, beyond appearances, beyond stereotypes. Yet sometimes even well-intended messages can carry assumptions that quietly reveal something deeper. I’ve heard sermons where women were encouraged by statements like, “Your worth isn’t in the size of your chest,” or comments about women paying thousands […]

For years, people tried to change me — how I dressed, how I wore my hair, my makeup, my whole presentation. Everyone had an opinion on who I should be. Then I thought about an episode of Good Times. Michael liked Yvonne, but she ended up falling for J.J. — not because he was perfect, but […]

Reading Maureen McCormick talk about surviving the image of Marcia Brady made me realize something powerful: people often fall in love with the version of us that fits their expectations, not the person underneath. On screen, Marcia Brady was perfect — liked, polished, and easy to place in a box. But off screen, Maureen was human, complex, and searching […]

There was a time in my life when I was told I couldn’t make it on my own. I was told I wouldn’t be able to support myself if I moved out.I was told I didn’t know how to drive.I was told I wouldn’t be able to take care of children if I ever had […]

Consent isn’t just about big conversations — it starts early, in everyday choices. Kids should be taught that they have the right to say no, even to something that looks nice or generous, like a gift. A gift should never feel like a requirement, a debt, or a trade for attention, affection, or silence. Children need […]

Love isn’t earned by education level — it’s built through character, emotional maturity, kindness, and effort. A diploma might prove what you know, but it doesn’t prove how you love.

Some people have called my book “too much” or “too touchy.” And I get it — the topics aren’t easy. But here’s the thing: sometimes the truth needs to be uncomfortable. Think of it like a doctor calling you with test results. Maybe your iron or vitamin D is low. (This is me) one time […]

People sit and watch the news every day. The news discusses death, abuse, violence, accidents, and tragedy — often with graphic detail — and no one questions whether reality should be spoken about. If it becomes too much, people simply change the channel. My book works the same way. I give clear content warnings. Readers […]

The backlash around my book doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been misunderstood my whole life — so this isn’t new territory. For a long time, I thought being misunderstood meant I needed to explain myself better. Now I know sometimes people misunderstand you because your truth makes them uncomfortable. I didn’t write my book to be […]

Women hear a lot of conflicting messages about dating. Be independent — but not too independent, or you’ll intimidate men. Be soft and open — but not too open, or you’ll seem needy. Somehow, women are expected to balance perfectly in the middle of two extremes, constantly adjusting themselves to keep someone interested. And honestly? It’s exhausting. The truth […]

There’s a common assumption in society: all wives have good husbands, and all baby mamas have no good baby daddies. But this stereotype is far from reality. Relationships are complex, and labels like “wife” or “baby mama” tell you very little about the quality of a partnership or co-parenting dynamic. Not all wives have good […]

It’s funny how some wives will subtly (or not-so-subtly) put down baby mommas — as if leaving a relationship makes someone less valuable or less committed. But when you pause and really think about it, the irony is striking. Many baby mommas left their child’s father because he was abusive, manipulative, unfaithful, or simply unwilling […]

Many parents talk to their children about dating — but often the conversations stop at surface-level things. Is the person respectful to the family?Do they go to church?Do they have a job or go to school?Does the family approve? These things may matter, but they don’t automatically reveal whether someone is emotionally healthy, safe, or […]

8  Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! James 1:17 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Ephesians 5:2And walk in love, as Christ also […]

One thing I’ve come to appreciate about being an author is this simple truth: you can’t be fired from your calling. In traditional jobs, people can lose positions. One mistake, one setback, or one season of falling short can lead to being let go — even in careers that required years of education and hard […]

Racism doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it shows up in subtle comments, carefully worded testimonies, or messages that sound innocent on the surface but carry deeper cultural weight underneath. And in many spaces — including churches — these quiet messages can be just as powerful as overt discrimination. Recently, I reflected on a […]

There is a dangerous pattern in many homes:A child changes… and instead of asking why, we assume the worst. She starts clubbing.She begins drinking.She gets tattoos.Her attitude shifts.She becomes distant.She seems “wild.” And the conclusion? “She’s rebellious.”“She’s out of control.”“She’s embarrassing.” But what if she was raped?What if she was assaulted?What if she was carrying trauma […]

Some people aren’t upset because you’re failing.They’re upset because you’re not. There’s a special kind of discomfort that shows up when someone expected your life to fall apart… and it doesn’t. I had a family member who was consistently negative about me. My decisions. Moving out. My finances. Dating. Marriage. Future motherhood. According to this person, […]

There’s a recurring narrative, especially in church spaces, that certain celebrities are “bad influences” on children. One of the most criticized names in that conversation is Beyoncé. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: She is a 44-year-old married woman.She is a mother.She is an adult entertainer. Why are we expecting her to behave like a children’s […]

We often teach girls that if a man does nice gestures — opens doors, buys flowers, offers help — that automatically makes him a “good guy” or even husband material. But here’s the truth: Anyone can perform a nice act. Not everyone respects boundaries. And respect matters more. When I was 21, I was walking […]

One day, when their friends ask, ‘What does your mom do?’ they’ll smile and say, ‘She’s an author… you should Google her!’ 😉 My journey isn’t a delay—it’s preparation for a legacy my kids can be proud of.”* I can imagine them running around the playground with my book in their hands and showing everyone, […]

I’ve heard some feedback about the chapter in my book that deals with rape—that it might “make people want to sin sexually.” Here’s the truth: even if someone struggles after reading it, that’s on them—not on me. The Bible is very clear that each person is accountable for their own actions. Galatians 6:5 reminds us, “For […]

Churches often preach about open rebuke and correction for members. But funny how that same principle sometimes seems to stop at the pulpit. Correction for the congregation.Grace and silence for leadership. And that imbalance should make us pause. The First “Untouchable” Leader Before there was a church culture issue, there was a heaven issue. Lucifer […]

There is a narrative in some church cultures that says if a pastor, elder, or minister wants to pray for a child or lay hands on them, the child should automatically comply. But here’s the truth: A child has the right to say no. That is not spiritual rebellion.That is spiritual wisdom. Before anyone lays […]

We often hear parents say they want to protect their daughters’ hearts.But sons have hearts too. Many boys grow up being taught a script about dating: Wine and dine her.Buy flowers.Sweep her off her feet.Win her over. The problem is — that’s not discernment.That’s performance. So a young man meets a woman he barely knows. […]

There’s a passage in Matthew 2 that has been sitting with me lately. When King Herod heard about the birth of Jesus, he didn’t celebrate. He panicked. He felt threatened by a baby. Let that sink in. A grown king with power, wealth, and influence felt threatened by a child who hadn’t performed a single miracle yet. No […]

Many churches teach that fame and fortune are inherently dangerous — that wealth or recognition will lead to pride, temptation, or spiritual compromise. While it’s true that they can be misused, the reality is more nuanced: not all fame or fortune is bad. In fact, God can use both to advance His purposes and bring […]

People hang their degree on the wall. It’s framed.It’s polished.It’s respected.And for many, that’s where it stays. On a wall. Degrees are accomplishments — and that’s beautiful. They represent discipline, sacrifice, and long nights of studying. But once it’s framed, it mostly becomes a symbol. A book? A book doesn’t sit on a wall. A […]

There’s a dangerous myth many women are taught: If he buys you flowers, he cares.If he plans trips, he’s serious.If he pursues you relentlessly, he must want a future. But flowers don’t equal commitment. A man can buy you roses every week and still avoid proposing.He can take you on luxury vacations and still be […]

There’s a hard truth many people don’t realize until it’s too late: A lot of relationships are built on presentation, not foundation. We date what looks good.We date what feels exciting.We date what impresses others.We date what sparkles. But we don’t always date what is solid. Someone looks good physically? Green light.They pay for everything? […]

It’s funny how God works. For years, I felt behind. Behind in healing.Behind in success.Behind in recognition.Behind in life. I went through losses.I went through trauma.I went through waiting seasons that felt endless.I experienced rejection, silence, closed doors, and what looked like failure. There were moments I wondered if time had passed me by. But […]

There was a season of my life where I wasn’t sure about dating.I became unsure about marriage.I became unsure about babies. And some people quietly decided what that meant about me. They assumed I didn’t want love.They assumed I wasn’t “wifely.”They assumed I wasn’t motherly. But what they didn’t understand was this: I was healing […]

The Day I Realized I Control My Own Value There’s something powerful about setting your own price. As an author, I decide what my work is worth. I choose the number. I don’t ask permission. I don’t wait for approval. I don’t split percentages with a salon owner or manager. I set the value — […]

It’s no secret I’m a book author, however while in the process of writing and publishing my book 📕 I had what was called a fulfillment officer, the fulfillment officer fulfilled my desires regarding my book such as cover design, interior design, editing etc and I must say she did a fabulous job, I was […]

For years, women were told: “Don’t text back too fast.”“Act busy.”“Don’t show too much interest.”“Make him chase you.” Because apparently… men like a challenge. But let’s unpack that. Do men like a challenge — or do insecure men like a game? There’s a difference. The Problem With “Be a Challenge” That advice trained women to […]

There’s this idea floating around that if you still talk about your rape, you must not be healed. That if you bring it up, reference it, write about it, or advocate around it, it means you’re “stuck.” But that logic doesn’t make sense. Saying a survivor isn’t healed because she speaks about her rape is […]

It’s funny looking back—I remember years ago I tried to start a blog called Shatese’s Pieces (Shatese is my middle name). I even had business cards I passed out, but nothing seemed to happen. No traction, no recognition… just a lot of effort that felt like it went nowhere. Fast forward to today, and my professional blog […]

Every year was quiet preparation until 2025, and my book signing became a day of power I never saw coming. The wait wasn’t wasted; it was necessary. God was positioning me, shaping me, and making sure I could receive everything fully when the moment arrived. Sometimes the blessing is more than the dream—it’s the timing, […]

In 2020, I was selling products on eBay. Not random products. Not things I picked up and flipped. Things I made. Small handmade items.A few pieces of clothing I created myself. At the time, it felt simple. Just me, my creativity, and a platform. But now — 5 to 6 years later — I’m selling […]

There’s a quiet competition some women participate in. “I’m a wife, not a baby mama.” It’s said like a trophy.Like a ranking.Like one woman is superior and the other is beneath her. But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: A title does not determine a woman’s character. Her behavior does. Marriage […]

I’m not saying God put my rape on me to teach me something. Let me be clear. I don’t believe trauma is a lesson plan.I don’t believe violence is divine strategy.I don’t believe God needed me broken to shape me. But I will say this: After my rape, I chose myself. And that changed everything. […]

Millennial women are different—and we’re not just talking about fashion or technology. We’re talking about mindset, agency, and how we navigate life. Unlike previous generations, we aren’t moldable. We don’t automatically accept advice or norms simply because they come from mothers, grandmothers, aunts, or even well-meaning family members. We ask questions. We challenge assumptions. We […]

I’ve noticed a recurring phrase from older women: “Men will be men.” Or the classic, “Men want sex.” At first glance, it might sound harmless, even casual—but when you really listen, it’s clear these phrases often downplay rape, harassment, and abuse. They excuse behavior that should never be excusable. This isn’t just a quirk of personality—it’s generational. Older women grew […]

After my rape, I wanted to become pregnant. Not because I wanted a baby.Not because I was romanticizing what happened.Not because I was confused. It was deeper than that. It was symbolic. When you’re violated, it feels like something inside of you dies.Your safety dies.Your innocence dies.Your sense of control dies.The version of you that […]

There’s a narrative that says, “If a man wines and dines you, he must have good intentions.” I’ve learned that isn’t always true. I met a guy at a club. We exchanged numbers. He was persistent and quickly planned a salsa dancing date. On the surface, it sounded thoughtful. Intentional. The kind of effort women are […]

Age alone doesn’t equal stability. An 18-year-old who works hard and is responsible can be more prepared for parenthood than a 35-year-old who’s struggling with addiction or unemployment. Readiness comes from emotional maturity, life skills, and support, not a number. Don’t let society tell you when you’re “ready”—you know your life best.

Surviving a traumatic experience—like rape—doesn’t always lead to despair or self-destruction. For some, it sparks a fierce desire to live, a renewed appreciation for life that can feel both surprising and powerful. After trauma, many survivors report feeling an intense urge to reclaim their agency. Experiencing something so deeply violating can strip away a sense […]

After my rape, I found myself telling two stories. First, I said I was pregnant. Then, later, I said I had a miscarriage. At first glance, these statements might seem contradictory—but for me, they were deeply symbolic, a language my heart used to process trauma. Saying I was pregnant wasn’t about a child. It was […]

For many women from older generations, motherhood was often seen as a duty—a list of responsibilities to be checked off: feed, clean, organize, discipline. Love for your child was obvious, but joy in the role? That was considered secondary. Motherhood was serious business, with little room for fun. Millennial moms are changing the game. We […]

Many older women were not taught to experience love and sex as mutual or consensual. They were taught to survive. For generations, women lived in a world where financial stability, social acceptance, and physical safety depended on men. Marriage wasn’t about emotional compatibility—it was about security. Sex wasn’t centered on desire or pleasure—it was a duty, an expectation, […]

There’s a common myth floating around that millennial men aren’t involved fathers. Funny enough, many millennial men are some of the most hands-on, emotionally present dads we’ve seen in generations. They don’t just provide financially—they show up in every way that counts. Unlike older generations, where men often saw their role as simply “breadwinner,” millennial men are […]

It’s funny how society still worries about young women “getting pregnant,” as if we’re all reckless. The truth is, millennial women have more access, education, and control over our reproductive choices than previous generations ever did. Contraception, fertility tracking apps, and comprehensive sex education mean that unplanned pregnancies are far less common than people assume. […]

Many older women—mothers, aunts, grandmothers—often give “dating advice” to younger women. On the surface, it seems cautionary. But if you listen carefully, you realize it’s not just advice—it’s a reflection of the world they endured. When they were our age, men were often abusive, unfaithful, or emotionally unavailable. Divorce was stigmatized. Independence was limited. Women […]

We’ve all heard it: someone goes through a painful experience, and a well-meaning friend, family member, or even a pastor says, “God is using this to teach you something.” At first glance, it sounds comforting — a way to find meaning in suffering. But beneath the surface, this phrase can be quietly harmful. Here’s why. 1. It […]

Sometimes we measure milestones by the usual markers—college graduations, weddings, big parties—but my book signing 📕 reminded me that some moments are meant to be entirely personal. A graduation can be loud, crowded, and filled with dozens of people going up on stage at once. You might not even hear your name called. Weddings often happen […]

I was at a women’s church event. The room was filled with Black women. The pastor speaking—a light-skinned Black woman—stood up and said, “You don’t have to lay on your back for a man.” That wasn’t wisdom. That was assumption. That sentence didn’t minister—it profiled. It leaned on a stereotype that Black women are sexually reckless, desperate for male […]

In many creative fields—nail techs, hairstylists, fashion designers, makeup artists—there’s an unspoken expectation to give work away for free, especially to family and friends. People don’t always see the labor, skill, time, and emotional energy that go into creative services. Instead, they see it as a favor. That pressure can be exhausting. When your creativity […]

As an author, I see myself like one of the Planeteers from Captain Planet. Ordinary people given power, not to dominate, but to protect. Their mission wasn’t comfort—it was confrontation. They showed up where damage was happening and refused to pretend it wasn’t real. In the same way, my writing exists to protect what is constantly […]

The church has no problem acknowledging world hunger as a real-life issue. It preaches about it, raises money for it, sends missionaries to address it, and openly admits it exists. No one says hunger is “too uncomfortable” to talk about. No one claims it’s inappropriate for the pulpit. Instead, the church recognizes a simple truth: […]

never stop dreaming about abundance, never stop dreaming about love, never stop dreaming about new beginnings, never stop dreaming about joy, never stop dreaming about peace, never stop dreaming about life, never stop dreaming about babies, never stop dreaming about your future, never stop dreaming about that call! Never stop dreaming about your healing, never […]

Blind obedience isn’t faith—it’s fear and habit. God gave parents discernment for a reason. Trusting your own judgment, praying for wisdom, and asking questions does not mean you’re rebellious or lacking faith. It means you’re engaged, thoughtful, and intentional about how you raise your children. Church can be a powerful foundation, but it should never replace personal […]

There’s a noticeable shift happening, and it’s not accidental. Millennial women, overall, are far less willing to endure abusive marriages than Gen X and baby boomer women—and that difference isn’t about disrespecting older generations. It’s about context. It’s about what each generation had access to, what they were taught to tolerate, and whether leaving was even […]

Yesterday, I reflected on something deeply personal—something that could have ended differently. I thought about suicide. About what it would have meant if my story had ended there. But here I am. My name isn’t on a tombstone 🪦. It’s on a book cover. And in that truth, I see a blessing. God didn’t allow […]

Growing up, many of us in church youth groups have heard something like this: “Teen pregnancy is a curse,” or “Getting pregnant outside of marriage is a punishment from God.” At the time, it might have sounded like guidance or a warning—but in reality, it’s toxic. Framing pregnancy as a moral failing creates shame and […]

Being a babymomma—having a child out of wedlock—is often looked down on, especially in church circles. There’s this idea that it’s a mark of failure or moral weakness. 🙄 if a woman is a single mom she’s looked down upon, but if a woman is married and stays 50 years enduring pain and abuse she’s […]

I had two choices. If I had committed suicide, my name would have lived online in a very specific way. A headline. A statistic. A tragic story people would read, share, and never forget. “Young woman takes her own life.” My pain would have been reduced to a moment, frozen in time, searchable forever. But that isn’t […]

There’s something I’ve always found a little backwards: parents criticizing how adults especially celebrities, live their lives, while simultaneously expecting those same adults to be role models for their children. To me, that doesn’t make much sense. An adult is not meant to be a child’s role model in the truest sense of the word. […]

People talk about healing after rape as if it’s a straight line. As if you just rest, pray, go to therapy, and eventually return to who you were before. But that isn’t how it actually works. After rape, you don’t simply “recover.”You start over. You’re reborn/rebirthed Not in a physical sense. Not even in the spiritual […]

In many church spaces, forgiveness is often pushed as something that should be quick, easy, and unquestioned. There’s an unspoken belief that if you truly forgive, you must continue allowing people access to your life — that cutting people off is unloving or unchristian. But when we look closely at Scripture, that idea doesn’t fully […]

As an author, my impact is greater because I am speaking directly to the reader. My words can reach many people at once, cross boundaries, and live on long after a single moment. Writing allows me to build community, share truth, tell stories, and pour into people in a way that aligns with my purpose. […]

For a long time, I had to be strong. Not the kind of strength people celebrate, but the kind you develop when you don’t have a choice. The kind that keeps you standing when support is absent, when life doesn’t slow down for your pain, and when survival becomes the priority. I carried that strength […]

I once sold Avon, and at the time, it felt like effort with little reward. The books piled up, the work was real, but the profit was small. Now I understand — that season wasn’t about money. It was about preparation. Avon taught me how to represent, how to speak confidently, and how to believe […]

At 16, most of us are stepping into new experiences: Sixteen is a transitional age — full of milestones that signal growth, responsibility, and some small steps toward adulthood. For me there was a Call at 16, and it was Fulfilled 16 Years Later ✍🏽 God told to write my book when I was 16. […]

There’s a common belief that if we don’t talk about something, we somehow protect young people from it. But silence has never been a shield. Knowledge is. As an author, I know some parents may feel uncomfortable with my book discussing rape, online predators, and manipulation. I understand that discomfort. These are heavy topics. But […]

There was a time in my life when I didn’t want to be here anymore. Not in the dramatic way people imagine, but in the quiet, exhausted way where simply existing feels heavier than breathing. I reached a point where I believed disappearing would bring peace. But I’m still here. And over time, I realized […]

These pages carry the weight of healing, the courage of truth, and the boldness of becoming whole before the world expected me to. I did not wait for midlife to find my voice. I found it in the fire, in the faith, in the aftermath — and I stood up anyway. This book is my […]

I’m under 40, fully healed, stable, and thriving—and I didn’t wait for midlife to claim my peace. 💫 Wholeness isn’t a reward for surviving—it’s a choice you can make now.

The nail, hair, and fashion industries are some of the most demanding creative spaces in the world. Every stitch has to be perfect. Every strand of hair has to fall just right. Every design has to match not only a vision, but a client’s expectations—sometimes high-end, sometimes elaborate, and often time-consuming. In those industries, creativity […]

Many people’s names end up on a degree.Many people’s names end up on a marriage license. But not many names get put on a book. A degree represents years of work, late nights, and perseverance. A marriage license represents commitment, love, and choosing to walk life with someone else. Both are meaningful. Both are milestones. […]

But my book gave me something a spouse or a child never could. God knows what we truly need, even when we don’t. So many people walk into marriage or parenthood hoping their spouse or their child will complete them, heal them, or fix what’s broken inside. When that doesn’t happen, frustration turns into pressure […]

In many churches, prayer is the first and sometimes only response when abuse is brought into the light. Sexual abuse. Child abuse. Domestic violence. Emotional harm. The words often sound the same: “We’ll pray for you.” And while prayer is powerful, it was never meant to replace action. Faith was never designed to be passive. There is […]

This book isn’t just about my story. It’s an invitation. An invitation for readers to be real with themselves, to face what they’ve been avoiding, and to stop performing for the world while quietly breaking on the inside. If my words can help even one person feel less alone in their struggle, then this book […]

We live in a world obsessed with appearances. Hair, nails, fashion—they’re all about looking good, feeling confident on the outside, and presenting our best selves to the world. And yes, there’s something powerful about a fresh haircut, a bold outfit, or perfectly styled nails. They make us feel seen, admired, and even unstoppable for a […]

As a hairstylist, the spotlight usually isn’t on you—it’s on the client. They walk out looking amazing, turning heads, getting compliments. People ask, “Where did you get your hair done?” And most times the answer is a salon name, not the stylist’s name. The beauty is seen, but the creator often fades into the background. […]

As a fashion designer, hairstylist, or nail tech, I would have been told what to create. I remember after finishing cosmetology school and applying for jobs, realizing something that stuck with me. Every salon didn’t specialize in everything. Some didn’t do color. Some didn’t specialize in radical or creative hairstyles. Some only focused on natural […]

For years, I considered careers like nail tech, hairstylist, or fashion designer. Each of these paths has its appeal, but they come with natural limits. As a nail tech or hairstylist, I’d primarily serve women. Even in fashion, I planned to focus only on women’s clothing. My audience would have been specific, narrow, and local. […]

For years, I felt like I lived in second place.Not always spoken over, not always ignored — just quietly placed in a box. The kind of box where people decide who you are before you ever get the chance to show them. I watched others in my family hit “firsts.”First to go to college.First to […]

2005 was the year my scoliosis continued getting worse, and I was navigating the awkward, confusing halls of middle school—so many changes, so much uncertainty. In 2005 I also had my first thought of suicide, yikes! 2015 was another storm: just two years after surviving rape, I was still grappling with the trauma, toxic relationships […]

I used to wonder if pursuing a career in fashion design or becoming a nail tech would have been the right path for me. On the surface, both seem creative and fulfilling. But the truth is, neither would have truly benefited me in the way I needed. As a fashion designer, I likely would have been working […]

We live in a world where struggle is often acknowledged — but not equally. Women navigating pregnancy and postpartum are (rightfully) met with care and understanding. Men carrying the weight of providing for their families are often praised for their strength and responsibility. These forms of hardship are visible. They’re recognized. They’re allowed space in […]

When The Passion of the Christ came out, it shocked audiences with its raw, graphic depiction of Jesus’ suffering. Blood, brutality, and agonizing pain filled the screen. It was gory, intense, and uncomfortable to watch—but that was exactly the point. It wasn’t sugarcoated. It wasn’t easy. It was real. I remember watching it as a child, and […]

Talking to kids about their bodies can feel uncomfortable for many adults. Some people avoid real terms and replace them with slang, nicknames, or “cute” words. But what often gets overlooked is this: using proper body part names is not just educational — it’s a safety tool. One of the biggest reasons this matters is communication. […]

There’s something I’ve always found interesting—maybe even a little contradictory. In church, we don’t shy away from talking about hell. It’s a heavy topic. It’s uncomfortable. It can be scary. Yet many believe it’s necessary to talk about it because it’s “real,” because it has consequences, and because people deserve to know the truth so […]

Recently, I came across some church dating advice that raised my eyebrows: “A woman should never pursue a man first.”Hmm… 🤔 That’s not actually biblical. In fact, it leans more on cultural tradition than God’s Word. The Bible doesn’t mandate that a man must always make the first move. God gave both men and women free will—the […]

But here’s the funny part: my book isn’t struggling. In fact, it’s thriving. And there’s plenty more—I’ll never run out of books. Each one is a testament to the truth that God’s plan and my purpose cannot be stopped by anyone else’s disbelief. Every copy out there is a little victory over the negativity I […]

Spiritually, it can be the same with people. There are seasons of you that benefited them—when your presence, your availability, your vulnerability, or your giving served their needs. And when that season shifts, when you grow, set boundaries, or step into a new version of yourself, they struggle to accept the change. Think of this: many people […]

In high school, I remember how many people discouraged me from going far away to college. Their words weren’t always harsh, but they carried a quiet message: stay close, don’t reach too far, don’t dream too big. For a while, I believed those limitations. I let their fears shape my expectations. But life has a way of […]

For years, I believed that success meant constant movement—leaving the house every day, running around, standing on my feet, juggling a traditional job, and trying to “do it all.” I thought that hard work had to be exhausting, both physically and mentally. But then, a few years ago in a quiet moment of seeking clarity […]

There’s a quiet tension in some church spaces that few people like to name out loud—the discomfort with a woman who is already thriving. Not surviving.Not waiting.Not “in need of fixing.” But thriving. A woman who knows her worth.A woman who is fulfilled in her love life, whether dating or married.A woman who is confident […]

I’ve been noticing something lately, and I think it’s worth saying: there’s this trend—especially online—where women, and particularly Christian women, share their struggles in ways that can almost feel glorified. Postpartum depression, marriage struggles, mental health challenges…none of these things are fake or unimportant, but sometimes they get shared in ways that feel more like […]

Growing up, many of us hear the idea that a man should chase, woo, and pursue a woman relentlessly. It’s framed as romantic, exciting, even flattering. But the truth is, this narrative can be unhealthy—and in some cases, dangerous. Think about predatory situations. Predators don’t look scary or mean—they often appear kind, charming, and attentive. […]

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it really means to serve God, and one thing that keeps coming up for me is this: we don’t serve a controlling God. That might sound silly, but it’s actually huge. It shows just how good He is and what true love really looks like. True love doesn’t […]

I remember one summer, I was about 21 or 22, wearing a tight-fitting crop top tube top. Now yes my breast are and have always been an ample size, however I wasn’t showing anything that spilled out—I was just wearing something I felt comfortable in. But my mom immediately snapped at me. She said I […]

At 18, I was told a prophecy about my “calling” at a church youth camp. It sounded powerful. It sounded divine. And what made it even more convincing was that it actually came true. Months later, I went to school in that exact field. About a year after that, I received a big opportunity in it. […]

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realize something simple but powerful: not everything that wears the label “God” is actually God. Sometimes it’s just rules. Sometimes it’s culture. Sometimes it’s fear dressed up as holiness. Growing up in church spaces, especially youth culture, a lot of the conversation around life—especially sex—was framed almost entirely […]

I was never meant to fit inside a box. Even in school, I didn’t run with the crowd. I didn’t move through cliques or chase popularity. I stayed in my own lane. I wasn’t the loudest, the trendiest, or the most visible — but I was always myself. And that followed me into adulthood. People often […]