When I was pursuing cosmetology, I found myself holding back. I was shy about getting clients, hesitant to promote my work, and unsure about putting myself out there. There was this quiet fear—of being seen, of being judged, of not being “good enough” yet.

But then I think about my book.

I wasn’t shy when it came to telling the truth about rape. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t water it down. I spoke openly, boldly, and unapologetically about something deeply personal and painful. And that’s what makes me pause and say, wow.

How is it that I could be so reserved in one area, yet so fearless in another?

The difference is powerful: one was rooted in performance, the other in purpose.

With cosmetology, it felt like I had something to prove. Would people like my work? Would they come back? Would I measure up? That kind of pressure can make you shrink back.

But with my book, it wasn’t about proving anything. It was about telling the truth. It was about releasing something that was already inside of me. There was no room for fear because the message mattered more than people’s opinions.

Truth gave me a boldness that performance never could.

It also showed me something important about myself—I’m not actually a shy person. I’m bold when something aligns with my purpose. I’m fearless when I know what I’m carrying matters.

So maybe the goal isn’t to “become” bold.

Maybe it’s realizing that the boldness is already there—and learning how to walk in it, even in spaces where I feel seen, evaluated, or uncertain.

Because if I can speak truth without fear, then I can show up without fear too.

And that’s a different kind of confidence.