Header
  • Home
  • About the Author
  • About the Book
  • Buy the Book
  • Blog
  • Home
  • About the Author
  • About the Book
  • Buy the Book
  • Blog

I Didn’t Understand Consent Until My 30s — And That’s a Problem

  • Posted on April 22, 2026

I didn’t fully understand what consent was until I was 32 years old. “Yikes” 🤯

That might sound shocking to some people. But if we’re being honest, it’s more common than people think.

I grew up hearing things like “say no,” “be careful,” or “protect yourself.” But no one really broke down what consent actually meant—what it looks like in real life, how it feels, and how it should be respected by others.

Because consent isn’t just about saying “no.”

Consent is about a clear, comfortable, and genuine “yes.”

It’s about choice. It’s about freedom. It’s about not feeling pressured, manipulated, or obligated.

And most importantly—it can be taken back at any time.


What I Wish I Was Taught Earlier

I wish someone had told me:

  • You don’t owe anyone access to your body
  • You can say no to things that seem “nice” or “harmless”
  • Feeling uncomfortable is enough reason to decline
  • Silence is not consent
  • Pressure is not consent
  • Fear is not consent

Consent isn’t just a sexual concept—it’s a life skill.

It shows up in everyday moments:

  • Saying no to hugs or physical touch
  • Not accepting gifts you don’t want
  • Setting boundaries with people, even if they mean well
  • Being allowed to change your mind

Why Teaching Kids About Consent Matters

If we don’t teach kids about consent, they grow up guessing.

They may think:

  • They have to go along with things to be polite
  • They can’t say no to adults
  • They should ignore their discomfort
  • Other people’s wants matter more than their own boundaries

That confusion can follow them into adulthood.

But when kids are taught consent early, something powerful happens:

  • They trust their instincts
  • They understand boundaries
  • They respect others’ boundaries too
  • They learn that their voice matters

And that doesn’t start with “the sex talk.”

It starts with simple things:

  • “Do you want a hug?” instead of forcing one
  • Respecting when a child says no
  • Teaching them they can say no—even to adults
  • Showing them that their body belongs to them

Breaking the Cycle

Learning about consent later in life doesn’t make you behind—it makes you aware.

And awareness is how cycles get broken.

Now, instead of moving through life unsure, I move with understanding.
Now, instead of silence, I have language.
Now, instead of confusion, I have boundaries.

And that’s something worth passing on.

Because the next generation shouldn’t have to figure this out in their 30s.

They deserve to know from the beginning.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Consent, Facts, Sex, Truth
  • Instagram

Young Faith: My Story, My Struggles, My Triumph, My Faith by Shalonda Falconer with Lorian Tompkins