It’s funny—back in 2021, before I had even fully acknowledged my own rape, I visited a church ⛪️. During that visit, the pastor approached my mom and told her I was healing from abuse. He didn’t go into the details, and he didn’t say, “All you have to do is forgive to be healed.” Instead, he simply observed that I was already being healed. Amen to that.

Looking back, I see how different that was from the common message I had often heard: that forgiveness alone is the key to healing. That idea can feel heavy, even misleading, especially for someone processing trauma. Healing from rape—or any deep trauma—isn’t a single act or decision. It’s a gradual process that touches every part of you: your mind, your body, your emotions.

Forgiveness can play a role, but it’s not the full path. Trauma leaves imprints on your nervous system, your thoughts, and your emotional responses. Recovery means unpacking those layers, processing what happened, and finding ways to restore your sense of safety and self. It’s messy, it’s non-linear, and sometimes it’s happening quietly—even when you don’t realize it.

That moment in church reminds me that progress doesn’t always look like what people expect. You can be healing even if it doesn’t fit the conventional narrative. And sometimes, the first step toward healing is simply acknowledging that you can be whole again, even if the road there looks different from what anyone else might say.