After my rape, my relationship with my own body changed. Fashion and makeup didn’t feel like enough. I still wanted to feel beautiful, but traditional ways of dressing up didn’t resonate with me. Instead, I found a different kind of agency—through tattoos.

Tattoos became my way of reclaiming control. Each one was small, intentional, and on my terms. Yes, the needle penetrates the skin—but it’s not too rough, it’s structured, sterile, and safe. I knew exactly how long it would last, and I chose when and where. Even at times when the needle did start to feel a bit rough, I could ask the artist to stop for a few minutes and they did, they respected my comfort. Unlike sexual violation, tattoos are completely consensual and controlled. The tattoo artist wears protection (gloves), uses all sterilized equipment that’s visible, I always saw them

take everything out of new clean packaging, and the process is completely controlled. They became a tangible reminder that my body belongs to me, and I decide what happens to it. When getting a tattoo, you get to say what you want done, it’s not a decision made for you or against your will!

This was my way of saying: I can still feel beautiful. I can still take up space. I am still in control. Tattoos didn’t erase what happened, but they helped me assert ownership over myself in a way that fashion, makeup, or other forms of self-expression didn’t at the time.

Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. For me, tattoos were more than art—they were empowerment, choice, and a way to reconnect with my body safely.