Honest thought: I sometimes feel like dating was easier and better before dating books, apps, podcasts, and social media took over everything.

Back then, dating required creativity. It required personality. People had to actually interact with each other in real life. Both men and women had to have good “game.” There was mystery, excitement, and genuine effort involved.

For example, a woman might notice a man she’s interested in, so she casually walks near him and pretends she dropped her purse or asks for directions somewhere. Little things like that created opportunities for natural conversation and connection. It wasn’t perfectly scripted — it was spontaneous and fun.

Now it feels like everything about dating has been analyzed, packaged, and turned into advice content.

We have dating podcasts telling people what to do. Social media influencers giving relationship strategies. Apps trying to algorithmically match people. Books teaching formulas for attraction.

Instead of making dating easier, I sometimes feel like all of this has made dating more complicated and pressured.

Social media especially has changed expectations. Every woman on my timeline seems to be receiving huge rose bouquets or walking into rooms decorated with roses and candles. Couples are constantly traveling together and posting luxury trips. Romantic gestures have almost become a performance for an audience.

But when these things become trends, they also become expectations. People start to feel like if their relationship doesn’t look like what they see online, something must be wrong.

In reality, many of those moments are curated for social media, not everyday life.

Even in church spaces, I’ve noticed something similar with Christian dating podcasts and relationship advice. Now, not all of it is bad. Some of it can be helpful. But the Bible tells us to test the spirits and not be moved by every wind of doctrine.

Just because someone has a microphone, a podcast, or a large following doesn’t automatically mean they have wisdom.

Sometimes it feels like the more advice people receive about dating, the less they trust their own instincts and natural ability to connect with others.

Maybe dating felt different before all of this because people were simply being themselves. They weren’t trying to meet social media standards or follow someone else’s strategy.

They were just learning each other in real time.

And sometimes, the mystery was part of the magic.