Hmm 🤔… reflecting on my journey, I’ve come to realize something deep: some of the weight I carried for years was never mine to hold in the first place.

As a believer, I always knew about praying in tongues. I had been taught that it was important—even powerful. My old pastor used to say to do it daily. But if I’m being honest, for a long time… I didn’t.

It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in it. It just wasn’t something I practiced consistently.

Now looking back, I see it differently.

Praying in tongues isn’t just a spiritual routine—it’s a connection. It’s a way of releasing what you don’t have the words for. It’s the perfect will of God being spoken through you when your own understanding falls short. And sometimes, after trauma, you don’t even know what to pray… you just feel the weight of everything.

After my rape, I was carrying so much—confusion, pain, brokenness, questions. And I coped in ways that reflected that broken place. I was trying to feel seen again, trying to feel whole again, trying to make sense of what had happened to me.

But one thing I didn’t fully do back then… was release it all to God.

Not completely.

Now I sit and think: if I had been praying in tongues daily during that time, I may have received clarity sooner. Maybe I would have had more understanding, more peace, more direction earlier in my healing.

But at the same time, I also understand this:

God doesn’t force His will on us.

He waits for us to come to Him.

And when I finally began to pray in tongues consistently—out loud, daily, intentionally—something started to shift. It wasn’t overnight, but over time, I noticed I was coming out of that dark place. I was gaining clarity. I was healing. I was becoming whole again.

That was about three years ago… and I truly believe that decision played a role in my breakthrough.

What I’ve learned is this:

Some things were never my burden to carry.

I was holding onto pain, shame, and confusion that I should have laid down. Not because I was weak—but because I didn’t yet know how to fully release it.

Praying in tongues became one of the ways I finally let go.

It helped me surrender what I couldn’t explain. It helped me trust God with the parts of me that were still hurting. It helped me move from surviving… to healing.

And now I see clearly:

Healing is a process.
Surrender is learned.
And God is patient.

He didn’t leave me in my silence.
He met me when I was ready to speak—even in a language I didn’t fully understand.

And that changed everything.