Many people assume that if someone uses a condom or other form of birth control, it means the encounter is “safe” or consensual. This is not true. Consent is about choice, not protection.

In 2016, I was raped by a younger man. He used a condom, but in a manipulative way—he put it on and rubbed it on the outer part of my vagina to “open me up.” My body reacted, but the thing is I didn’t get turned on naturally, I didn’t show consent in my body language or I didn’t get to say yes verbally. This act was still rape regardless of him using a condom!

This experience taught me that consent cannot be assumed based on physical response or contraceptive use. Rape is about coercion and manipulation, not whether someone’s body responds in a certain way.

If you ever feel unsure or pressured, listen to your instincts. Your comfort and consent are what truly matter—not whether a condom is being used.