After experiencing something as painful as rape, it’s natural to feel broken, lost, and even fearful of what the future holds. Yet, in the midst of that pain, I found myself desiring pregnancy — and I now see it in a new light: as a form of God’s protection and favor.

Pregnancy is life growing more and more. It’s about creation, nurturing, and expansion. In a way, my desire to become pregnant was me reclaiming life, saying “yes” to growth, and refusing to let trauma define the rest of my story. It wasn’t just a personal longing — it was a spiritual affirmation. It was God guiding me toward life, abundance, and resilience.

Sometimes, after trauma, our souls instinctively reach toward life-affirming experiences. Wanting to nurture and grow life again can be a way of participating in God’s protection and favor. It’s a way of saying, “I will continue. Life will continue. Goodness will continue.”

For anyone who has survived trauma, remember: your desires for life, joy, and growth are sacred. They are a sign that despite what tried to take away your future, God is still planting seeds of hope and renewal in your life. Pregnancy also represents a new season: I was desiring a new season, a new identity and overall new life! And now I finally have it! I’m in the new season I longed for, I have a new identity; I’m an author and I’m healed! Wow! Amen!