When I reflect on the time after my rape, I realize that even the things I believed during that painful season may have helped keep me alive. For a while, I believed I was pregnant. At the time, that belief felt overwhelming and confusing, but looking back now, I see that it may have played a role in my survival. For many women, pregnancy awakens a deep instinct to protect life and take care of themselves. In a strange but meaningful way, that belief may have given me a reason to keep going when I felt like giving up.
- Posted on March 14, 2026
Pregnancy often changes how a woman views herself and her future. Even women who are struggling emotionally often find strength because they feel responsible for the life growing inside of them. That sense of purpose can push someone to keep living, keep trying, and keep hoping. Looking back, I can see that believing I was be pregnant may have created that same sense of responsibility in me during one of the darkest moments of my life.
Survival after trauma doesn’t always look neat or logical. Sometimes our minds hold onto whatever gives us the strength to make it through another day. I don’t believe anything I went through was meaningless. Even the thoughts and coping mechanisms I had during that time may have served a purpose in keeping me here.
God didn’t cause what happened to me, but I do believe He was present in my survival. Even in my confusion and pain, something inside of me kept choosing life. What I once thought was simply fear or uncertainty may have actually been one of the ways God helped carry me through a season that could have easily destroyed me.