Abstinence only teaching is harmful and it doesn’t protect children and puts them at more harm, abstinence only messages doesn’t leave space for questions that a child may have and it doesn’t discuss consent and boundaries, even within marriage.

Research has found several ways this approach can leave young people less prepared.

Some of the concerns include:

• It can discourage questions. If the message is simply “don’t have sex,” children and teens may feel embarrassed or afraid to ask about their bodies, relationships, or situations they’re experiencing. Unanswered questions can lead them to seek information from less reliable sources.
• It often leaves out consent. Young people need to understand that every person has the right to say yes or no to physical intimacy, that consent must be freely given, and that coercion, manipulation, or force are never acceptable. These lessons are important regardless of whether someone chooses abstinence.
• It may not teach healthy boundaries. Children benefit from learning how to recognize uncomfortable situations, respect others’ boundaries, communicate their own limits, and identify controlling or abusive behavior. These skills are useful long before anyone becomes sexually active.
• It can leave children vulnerable to abuse. Children who are taught only “don’t have sex” may not receive appropriate education about body safety, inappropriate touching, grooming behaviors, or how to tell a trusted adult if someone crosses a boundary. Since many children who experience sexual abuse did not choose or consent to it, abstinence messages alone do not protect them.
• It may create shame around sexuality. Some people report feeling that normal questions, sexual development, or even being a victim of abuse made them “impure” or “at fault.” Shame can make it harder to seek help.
• It often doesn’t prepare young people for adulthood. Whether someone waits until marriage or not, they eventually need knowledge about communication, healthy relationships, consent, reproductive health, and sexual health.
• Consent matters in marriage too. Marriage does not mean someone automatically consents to sex at any time. Healthy marriages are built on mutual respect, communication, and ongoing consent. A spouse has the right to decline sex, and coercion within marriage is not healthy or acceptable.

Many experts therefore recommend comprehensive sexuality education, which can include abstinence as the safest way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections while also teaching:

• Body safety and correct anatomical terms.
• Consent and respecting boundaries.
• Recognizing grooming and abusive behaviors.
• Healthy relationships and communication.
• Pregnancy and STI prevention.
• When and how to ask trusted adults or healthcare professionals for help.

Studies have generally found that comprehensive sex education is associated with improved knowledge, healthier relationship skills, and does not increase sexual activity compared with abstinence-only programs. Instead, it tends to better equip young people to make informed, safer decisions as they grow.