Women Making the First Move: A Christian Perspective

In many Christian circles, there’s this unspoken “rule” that a man must always do the pursuing in dating. You’ve probably heard someone quote Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds favor with the Lord.” But if we read carefully, this verse doesn’t tell us who should approach whom—it simply highlights the blessing of finding a good spouse.

Too often, Christians take a single scripture and build entire “rules” around it. One verse becomes a law, and suddenly everyone is expected to follow a cultural interpretation rather than the heart of the message.

Here’s the truth: God cares more about our hearts, integrity, and intentions than about who makes the first move or who sends the first text. While I personally believe that marriage proposals should come from men—because there’s something meaningful about that public declaration and commitment—dating is a different matter entirely.

A woman initiating a conversation or showing interest doesn’t contradict God’s word. In fact, many men appreciate a woman who is confident enough to make the first move. It can remove ambiguity, show clarity, and even make the dating process more honest and straightforward.

The key isn’t who approaches first—it’s respect, consent, and integrity in your interactions. Let’s stop putting unnecessary pressure on women and men to conform to cultural expectations and focus instead on building relationships that honor God, ourselves, and each other.

After all, love isn’t about rules and rigid traditions—it’s about connection, respect, and mutual care.