Recently, I came across some church dating advice that raised my eyebrows: “A woman should never pursue a man first.”Hmm… 🤔 That’s not actually biblical. In fact, it leans more on cultural tradition than God’s Word.

The Bible doesn’t mandate that a man must always make the first move. God gave both men and women free will—the ability to make choices in love, relationships, and life. There are even clear examples of women taking initiative in Scripture:

• Rebekah at the well (Genesis 24): She offered water to Abraham’s servant and agreed to leave her home for a life with Isaac. She made a bold, decisive move.
• Ruth and Boaz (Ruth 3): Ruth approached Boaz intentionally and respectfully, showing agency while honoring cultural boundaries.
• Proverbs 31 woman: She is proactive, wise, and decisive—qualities that extend to relationships, not just business or home life.

The idea that only men can initiate often comes from societal or church tradition, not Scripture. Pursuing someone respectfully and prayerfully is not unbiblical—it’s exercising the free will God gave us.

For women in faith, this is empowering: you can be intentional about love, make wise choices, and still honor God in the process. Waiting passively for a man to “make the first move” is not a requirement—it’s a choice, not a rule.

God calls both men and women to pursue love with wisdom, prayer, and courage. If He gave us free will, why wouldn’t He want us to use it in matters of the heart?