Not talking to children at all about rape, body safety, or boundaries can actually increase their risk of harm and make it harder for them to speak up if something ever happens. Here are the key dangers:
1. They won’t recognize unsafe behavior
If no one teaches them:
- what inappropriate touching is
- what coercion looks like
- that adults can also be dangerous
they may not realize a situation is unsafe until it’s too late.
Children don’t naturally know what “rape” or “abuse” is — predators count on that innocence.
2. They may blame themselves
If something happens and no one ever taught them what abuse is or that it’s never their fault, many children assume:
- “I must have done something wrong”
- “I shouldn’t tell”
- “I’ll get in trouble”
The shame becomes even heavier because they have no framework to understand the situation.
3. They may not know that it’s okay to tell
Children who are never taught:
- “You can always tell me anything”
- “No one should ever keep secrets about touching”
- “Your body belongs to you”
…are much less likely to report grooming or abuse. Silence protects the abuser.
4. They become easier targets for predators
Predators look for kids who:
- don’t know the words for body parts
- don’t understand consent
- weren’t taught boundaries
These children are easier to manipulate and less likely to speak up.
5. It can create lifelong confusion about consent
Waiting until adulthood to explain consent, boundaries, and bodily autonomy causes:
- difficulty recognizing coercive partners
- confusion during intimate situations
- higher vulnerability to teen/young adult sexual violence
Many survivors say, “No one ever taught me what consent was.”
6. It increases generational silence
If one generation never talks about it, it continues. This silence:
- protects abusers
- isolates survivors
- teaches children that sexual topics are shameful or taboo
Far more damage comes from silence than from age-appropriate conversations.
The safest approach is age-appropriate education
You don’t have to “traumatize” a child with graphic details. You teach them in language they understand:
- Ages 3–6: “Your body belongs to you. No secrets about touching.”
- Ages 7–10: “If someone tries to touch your private parts or makes you uncomfortable, tell a safe adult right away.”
- Ages 11–13+: Consent, internet safety, peer pressure, grooming.
- Teens: Detailed conversations about boundaries, respect, healthy relationships, coercion.
It’s not about scaring kids — it’s about protecting them.