Unforgiveness Is Not the Unpardonable Sin

In many church spaces, unforgiveness and bitterness are sometimes treated as if they are the worst sins a person could commit. In some environments, people are even made to feel like if they are struggling to forgive—especially after deep trauma—that they are somehow cut off from God.

But when we actually look at Scripture, the Bible identifies only one sin as unforgivable, and it is not unforgiveness.

Jesus spoke about the unforgivable sin in Gospel of Matthew 12:31–32, Gospel of Mark 3:28–30, and Gospel of Luke12:10. He said that every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

In context, religious leaders witnessed Jesus performing miracles through the power of God’s Spirit, yet they deliberately claimed that the work of the Holy Spirit was demonic. Their hearts had become so hardened that they rejected the truth even when it was right in front of them.

That is what Scripture describes as the unforgivable sin—a persistent and willful rejection of the Holy Spirit and God’s truth.

Yet many wounded people in churches have been taught something very different. Survivors of abuse, betrayal, rape, abandonment, and deep injustice are often pressured to “forgive quickly” or risk being labeled bitter, rebellious, or spiritually blocked.

But the Bible itself shows that human beings experience a full range of emotions in their walk with God.

David cried out in anger and grief in the Psalms.
Jeremiah lamented deeply and questioned the suffering around him.
Job wrestled with confusion and pain after devastating loss.

None of these people were cut off from God because they were struggling emotionally.

The Bible also reassures believers that God’s presence and love are not easily withdrawn. **Epistle to the Romans 8:38–39 teaches that nothing can separate us from the love of God. And **Epistle to the Hebrews 13:5 reminds us that God promises to never leave nor forsake His people.

Forgiveness is important. It can be healing and freeing over time. But forgiveness is also a process, especially when someone has experienced severe harm.

Turning unforgiveness into the “ultimate sin” can sometimes silence people who are already wounded. It can pressure victims to rush through pain that deserves to be acknowledged, processed, and healed.

The truth is this: struggling with bitterness, anger, or grief does not automatically separate someone from God.

What Scripture warns about is something entirely different—a hardened rejection of the Holy Spirit’s truth.

There is a big difference between wrestling with pain and rejecting God entirely.

God is not afraid of honest emotions, honest questions, or honest struggles. Throughout the Bible, people brought their pain directly to Him—and He still met them there.