I couldn’t commit suicide because let’s be honest: once you’re dead you have 0 control at that point, you have no control over your funeral, grave/tombstone head etc someone else makes those decisions for you, God made me a author so I could have full control, no one could put my book together better than myself, the cover design, words etc. suicide= death, which means losing your whole identity and all of your individuality and freedom! Wow!