Waiting Until Marriage Doesn’t Replace Communication

Many people believe that if a couple waits until marriage, everything about intimacy will automatically fall into place. The assumption is that once the wedding happens, comfort will appear instantly and both people will naturally know what to do.

But that isn’t always reality.

Waiting until marriage may reflect values, faith, discipline, or personal conviction—but it does not replace communication. In fact, it can make communication even more important.

Two people can both be committed to waiting, yet still have very different expectations about intimacy. One partner may imagine a very affectionate relationship, while the other may feel nervous, shy, or unsure. If those expectations are never discussed beforehand, marriage can suddenly feel confusing rather than comforting.

This is especially true when both people are young or inexperienced. If two virgins marry, they are essentially learning something new together. Marriage does not magically provide knowledge or erase fears. It simply creates the space where two people can begin discovering and understanding each other.

Healthy couples talk about things before marriage. They discuss expectations, boundaries, fears, desires, and comfort levels. These conversations are not inappropriate—they are responsible. They help build trust and emotional safety long before the physical side of the relationship begins.

Real intimacy isn’t just physical. It is emotional openness, patience, understanding, and respect. When couples communicate honestly, they remove pressure and replace it with teamwork.

Marriage should not be the first time two people try to understand each other. It should be the continuation of a relationship where honesty and communication were already present.

Waiting until marriage is a personal choice. But communication is what helps that choice lead to a healthy, loving, and supportive partnership.