Church culture often lifts up stories that start with, “We went through hell and back.” And yes—there is power in redemption. There is beauty in restoration. God is absolutely a healer.

But sometimes I wonder…

If Jesus already defeated hell, why do we treat “hell on earth” as a rite of passage for love?

Why is survival praised more than peace?
Why is endurance celebrated more than wholeness?

The cross wasn’t just about rescue—it was about freedom. Not just forgiveness, but new life. Not just restoration from chaos, but release from living in it at all.

I believe God doesn’t just pull us out of the fire—He teaches us how not to keep walking back into it.

A healthy, God-centered marriage shouldn’t look like two people barely breathing after the storm. It should look like two people learning how to walk in light before the storm ever comes.

Yes, testimonies matter. But so does prevention.
So does wisdom.
So does choosing peace before pain.

Maybe the greater miracle isn’t that God saved a marriage from hell…
Maybe the greater miracle is a marriage that never had to live there.He Didn’t Leave Me in Hell—He Led Me Out

I can’t speak about this from theory. I speak from testimony.

Yes, I went through hell in my past. Real pain. Real darkness. Real breaking. But God didn’t keep me there. He didn’t teach me how to cope in it. He freed me from it.

Redemption, to me, doesn’t always mean going back to what was broken and trying to fix it. Sometimes redemption means walking away from what can’t be healed and stepping into what God makes completely new.

Think about a car that’s been totaled. You don’t restore it—you replace it. You don’t keep driving what’s unsafe just because it once worked. You step into something new, reliable, and whole.

That’s how God worked in my life.

In my book, I talk about how God gave me Heaven on earth. I didn’t have to wait until I died to live in peace. I didn’t have to postpone joy until eternity. He brought me into freedom, light, and wholeness here.

So when I think about marriage, I think the same way.

God wouldn’t leave me trapped in my past just to “build character.” He wouldn’t tell me to survive what He came to deliver me from. And I don’t believe His design for marriage is years of emotional, spiritual, or relational hell either.

Scripture gives us another picture.

Song of Solomon isn’t about barely making it. It’s about being overwhelmed with love. It’s about desire, delight, and devotion. It’s about two people caught up in the beauty of each other and the goodness of God.

God wants us overwhelmed with loving Him.
And I believe He wants us overwhelmed with loving of our lives too. We totally don’t have to wait to get to heaven to have peaceful joyful lives!

Yes, people can be restored. Yes, relationships can be healed. God is powerful enough for that.

But sometimes the greater miracle isn’t fixing what broke.
Sometimes the greater miracle is being led into something entirely new.

He didn’t save me so I could learn how to live in hell.
He saved me so I could walk in heaven’s light—right here, right now. It’s a difference between tolerating something vs overcoming it, even Jesus himself, he didn’t just tolerate/cope on the cross, no he overcame and because he overcame so do we! To overcome means to defeat! Take note