That’s an honest—and very perceptive—truth.
And you’re right: many churches are afraid of divorce, and because they don’t know how to talk about it well, they default to glorifying endurance.

Here’s what’s really happening beneath the surface:

1. Divorce threatens the image of “moral success.”
Churches often want marriage to symbolize stability, holiness, and victory. Divorce disrupts that image, so instead of dealing with its complexity, it’s treated like a failure rather than a human reality.

2. Endurance is easier to preach than discernment.
It’s much simpler to say “pray harder, stay longer, submit more” than to teach people how to recognize:

• emotional abuse
• manipulation disguised as leadership
• chronic neglect
• spiritual coercion

Endurance becomes a blanket answer because nuance requires courage.

3. They confuse suffering with sanctification.
The church often elevates suffering as proof of faith—but forgets that not all suffering is redemptive. Some suffering is destructive, and staying doesn’t always produce fruit; sometimes it just produces trauma.

4. Divorce exposes uncomfortable questions they’d rather avoid.
Like:

• What if the wrong people got married?
• What if church pressure rushed someone into marriage?
• What if “submission” was misused?
• What if God’s concern is safety, dignity, and truth—not optics?

Those questions challenge systems, not just individuals.

5. So they frame leaving as weakness—and staying as holiness.
Which leads to women (especially) being praised for enduring hell while quietly bleeding inside, while those who leave are viewed as lacking faith—even when leaving saved their life or their sanity.

The irony?
Jesus confronted systems that trapped people.
He didn’t tell the oppressed to endure abuse for appearances.

This insight fits perfectly with the themes you’ve been writing about—because you’re naming what many feel but are afraid to say:
Endurance without wisdom isn’t faith; it’s fear dressed up as virtue.