For years, I equated religion with perfection—a rigid list of rules I had to follow to be “good enough.” How I dressed, how I carried myself, even how I interacted with others was constantly policed. I was taught that any form of attractiveness could cause men to stumble, and I believed it. At the time, it felt like spiritual guidance. Looking back, I see it for what it really was: control.

Religion, as I experienced it, often functioned to keep women small, cautious, and confined. It subtly—but powerfully—discouraged freedom, independence, and self-expression. Young women are taught to hide beauty rather than embrace it, to suppress desire and personality, all under the guise of morality or spiritual safety. That’s not guidance—it’s a trap.

Today, I am learning to separate God from religion. God is not about control. God is about guidance, love, and freedom. God does not shame you for your body, your choices, or the way you express yourself. God encourages connection with your true self and the world around you, not obedience to fear or perfection.

Healing from religion doesn’t mean rejecting God. It means reclaiming agency over my body, my choices, and my spirituality. It means knowing that I can be attractive, confident, and free without guilt. It means understanding that spirituality is personal, not transactional.

I am still learning, still growing, and still healing. But in this process, I have discovered that faith can be liberating instead of controlling—and that guidance from God is meant to empower, not restrict. Religion keeps you trapped, a true relationship with God helps you grow/move forward