there are several psychological reasons why someone might seek a sperm donor after experiencing rape. This doesn’t mean it happens the same way for everyone, but there are common themes trauma psychologists have observed:

1. Reclaiming control over the body and reproductive choices

• After sexual assault, people often feel their autonomy was violently taken. Choosing a sperm donor lets you decide exactly how and with whom you conceive, restoring a sense of control.

2. Desire to create life on your own terms

• Some survivors feel a strong urge to bring life into the world deliberately, as an act of healing, empowerment, or hope—rather than as a product of violence.

3. Rewriting the narrative of trauma

• A child conceived by choice can symbolize safety, agency, and a future defined by you, rather than the trauma you experienced.

4. Separation of conception from the trauma

• Using a sperm donor provides emotional and physical distance from the assault, making the pregnancy feel “safe” in a way that conception from the assault would never be.

5. Coping with feelings about identity and legacy

• Some survivors feel a desire to leave a part of themselves behind or to create something positive out of a painful past. Choosing a donor allows this to happen intentionally.

6. Complex attachment and healing mechanisms

• Trauma can distort how one thinks about family, children, and intimacy. Wanting a child through a donor can reflect a deep psychological need for love, nurturing, and connection in a context that feels safe and controlled.

Essentially, seeking a sperm donor after rape can be a way to regain power, create a positive narrative, and separate reproductive decisions from the trauma.