It’s a form of control dressed up as advice.

Here’s why it’s harmful:

1. It polices women in ways men aren’t policed.
Ambition in men is praised as leadership, drive, or vision. In women, it’s often reframed as arrogance, selfishness, or “doing too much.” That double standard teaches women to shrink.

2. It conditions women to prioritize comfort over calling.
Women are often taught to be palatable, likable, and non-threatening rather than fulfilled or purpose-driven. That leads to burnout, resentment, and suppressed potential.

3. It benefits systems that rely on women staying small.
Whether in families, churches, workplaces, or relationships, discouraging ambition keeps power imbalances intact. A woman who doesn’t reach for more is easier to manage.

4. It ignores that ambition is not aggression.
Wanting education, financial stability, leadership, creativity, or impact doesn’t mean a woman is abandoning love, femininity, faith, or family. Those things can coexist.

5. It gaslights women out of their intuition.
When women feel called to grow but are told they’re “too much,” they learn to doubt themselves instead of trusting their discernment.

Especially given how much you’ve been unpacking lately about control, consent, and autonomy, this fits the same pattern:
any message that tells someone—especially women—to silence their inner drive is about power, not protection.