A lot of people are ignorant about rape, and that ignorance can be deeply harmful to survivors. Here are a few reasons why it happens, and why it feels so frustrating:
- Posted on December 4, 2025
1. People don’t understand consent
Many were never taught that:
- Consent must be clear, ongoing, and freely given
- Agreeing to one sexual act does not equal agreeing to everything
- You can withdraw consent at any time, even in the middle
Because they don’t know this, they minimize or misunderstand what rape actually is.
2. Some rely on harmful myths
Examples:
- “If you didn’t fight back, it wasn’t rape.”
- “If you knew the person, it wasn’t rape.”
- “If you weren’t completely naked, it wasn’t rape.”
All of these are false, and they show people don’t understand trauma responses like freezing, fawning, or dissociation.
3. Society avoids uncomfortable truths
Many people don’t want to confront that:
- Most rapes are committed by someone the survivor knows
- Rape can happen even with no physical force
- Rape can happen to any gender, any age
So they cling to simplified, wrong ideas.
4. Some people have never been educated on coercion
They don’t see:
- Pressure
- Manipulation
- Guilt trips
- Religious teachings that normalize women’s bodies being owed
These all can lead to non-consensual encounters, yet many don’t recognize them as violations.
5. Survivors’ stories are often dismissed
People sometimes minimize because it’s easier than dealing with the reality of:
- Trauma
- Power dynamics
- Their own complicity or past actions
That doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means society has a long way to go.Here are some of the most common and damaging forms of ignorance people show about rape — the things survivors see all the time:
1. “If you didn’t fight back, it’s not rape.”
People don’t understand freeze response, which is just as involuntary as fight or flight.
Most survivors freeze, go numb, or comply to survive — and that is still rape.
2. “If you knew him, it wasn’t rape.”
One of the most widespread myths.
Most rapes are committed by:
- friends
- family members
- partners
- acquaintances
Stranger danger is the least common scenario.
3. “If you weren’t physically hurt, it doesn’t count.”
People think rape means:
- bruises
- screaming
- weapons
Often there’s no physical injury because the survivor was scared, froze, or was overpowered in non-violent ways.
4. “If you didn’t say no out loud, it was consent.”
People assume silence = agreement.
But:
- fear
- shock
- dissociation
- religious conditioning
can stop someone from speaking.
Consent is not the absence of a “no” — it’s the presence of a clear yes.
5. “If you were partially clothed, it wasn’t rape.”
This one comes up a lot.
People don’t realize:
- touching under clothes
- pulling clothing aside
- accessing body parts without permission
IS still rape or sexual assault.
Clothes don’t magically create or remove consent.
6. “You must have wanted it if you didn’t run away.”
People ignore survival responses like:
- freezing
- fawning
- trying to keep the attacker calm to stay alive
Those are protective responses, not consent.
7. “If you didn’t report immediately, it didn’t happen.”
Another common and harmful myth.
Survivors often delay reporting because:
- they’re in shock
- they fear not being believed
- they feel ashamed
- the attacker is someone close
- they blame themselves
Delayed reporting is normal.
8. “It was just sex you regretted later.”
People can’t grasp that you can:
- be scared
- be manipulated
- be overpowered
- be pressured
and still have your body respond automatically.
Regret and rape are not the same.
9. “Clothing or behavior caused it.”
Victim-blaming is still everywhere:
- “Why were you alone with him?”
- “Why did you wear that?”
It ignores the truth: the only cause of rape is a rapist.
10. “A spouse or partner can’t rape you.”
Some people still think marriage or relationship = permanent consent.
It absolutely does not. Here are the most common forms of religious ignorance about rape — especially in churches and faith-based spaces. These are things survivors hear all the time:
1. “Your body belongs to your husband.”
Some churches teach:
- a wife owes sex
- denying sex is sinful
- submission includes sexual access
This creates coercion, guilt, and fear — and it trains women to ignore their own boundaries.
It also makes some people believe marital rape “doesn’t exist.”
2. “Forgive and forget.”
Survivors are told:
- to move on
- to stop “living in the past”
- forgiveness means silence
This pressures them to protect the abuser instead of themselves.
3. “Just pray about it.”
Many people use prayer as an excuse to avoid:
- accountability
- reporting
- therapy
- facing abuse in the community
Prayer is not a substitute for safety.
4. “You shouldn’t accuse a man of God.”
In some churches:
- pastors
- ministers
- youth leaders
- deacons
are placed on pedestals.
People defend them even when accusations are credible, because they confuse charisma with character.
5. “Modesty prevents rape.”
The idea that covering up:
- protects you
- prevents men from “stumbling”
is victim-blaming in religious language.
Rapists don’t rape because of clothing.
They rape because they choose to violate someone.
6. “Purity culture” confusion
Teachings like:
- “Don’t have sex before marriage.”
- “Guard your purity.”
- “Your worth is tied to virginity.”
make survivors feel: - ruined
- dirty
- responsible
for something done to them.
It also keeps people ignorant about what consent even is.
7. “You must have tempted him.”
Some religious communities subtly (or openly) imply that:
- friendliness
- being alone with a man
- dancing
- even just existing
“caused” it.
This mirrors Eve-blaming theology.
8. “Don’t bring shame on the church/family.”
Survivors are told to be silent to:
- protect the church’s reputation
- keep peace in the family
- avoid “gossip”
This shields abusers and retraumatizes victims.
9. “God allowed this for a reason.”
This is one of the most painful.
People misuse theology to explain trauma instead of offering compassion.
It makes survivors feel punished rather than supported.
10. Misusing scriptures about submission
Verses like:
sexual access
These teachings ignore the equally strong scriptures on mutual respect, consent, and equality.
“Wives submit to your husbands”
“Your body is not your own”
are often ripped out of context to justify:
control
pressure
sexual access
These teachings ignore the equally strong scriptures on mutual respect, consent, and equality.