I relate so much to Todd Bridges book especially him talking about his rape, he mentions how afterwards he didn’t want to be gay, his rape was done by a older male, and he was 10-11 years old at the time of, which those are ages where kids are becoming a bit more aware of their sexuality and starting to form interest in the opposite sex, so his feelings were valid, same with me: my rape happened at 20 years old, it was done by a older male, I knew I wasn’t gay afterwards, and had no worries of even becoming gay, my main concern and belief was more so about losing my spark from it, age 20 is when most people are just getting their spark, at that age you’re fresh out of high school and new into the adult world, hence you’re becoming more noticed and attractive to other adults, for me clubbing/going out to bars, lounges etc was a way for me to try keep my spark, see if it was there still/find it again etc, wow I was determined to not let it go by all means! Wow