I’ve noticed something that rarely gets talked about openly: lighter-skinned Black women often get a pass that darker-skinned Black women do not. This isn’t about jealousy or competition—it’s about bias, assumptions, and stereotypes that run deep in families, communities, and churches.

I remember a moment that perfectly illustrated this. A family member commented on me having a baby, assuming I would struggle and wasn’t ready. At the same time, she gushed about her own desire for her lighter-skinned daughter to have a baby and assumed she’d be a great mother. Mind you, this daughter was far from stable, yet her readiness was unquestioned. I was unfairly profiled simply because of my darker skin tone.

This is colorism at work. Lighter skin is often unconsciously associated with competence, desirability, and success, while darker skin can trigger assumptions of struggle, difficulty, or harshness. These expectations show up everywhere:

• In families: lighter-skinned children may receive more praise or trust, while darker-skinned children are scrutinized for the same actions.
• In relationships and social life: lighter-skinned women are idealized or assumed “lucky in love,” while darker-skinned women are unfairly burdened with stereotypes of struggle.
• In professional or public spaces: lighter skin can translate to credibility and visibility, whereas darker skin often requires proving oneself repeatedly.

These patterns are subtle but damaging. They tell darker-skinned Black women, “You are expected to struggle,” even when there’s no reason for it. They also elevate lighter-skinned women in ways that aren’t earned—simply because of skin tone.

Sharing this isn’t about pointing fingers; it’s about awareness. Colorism exists, and it impacts lives in real ways—emotionally, socially, and even spiritually. By talking about it, we can challenge these unconscious biases and start valuing people for who they are, not the shade of their skin.

We all deserve to be seen clearly—without assumptions, without stereotypes, and without having our worth measured by skin tone.