At my first job, I remember my older, light-skinned supervisor making a comment about me that stuck with me for years. She said something along the lines of, “You’re so small—you can eat whatever you want.” At the time, I laughed it off, but looking back, I realize how loaded that statement was.

On the surface, it might sound like a compliment, but it was actually a subtle form of racialized and colorist stereotyping. Many people assume all Black women are naturally curvy or thick. My body didn’t fit that stereotype, and her comment was an attempt—conscious or not—to reconcile what she saw with what she expected.

The fact that my supervisor was also light-skinned adds another layer. Even within the Black community, colorism shapes expectations: lighter-skinned women are often stereotyped as smaller or more delicate. Her remark highlighted that she was viewing me through the lens of both body assumptions and skin-tone-based stereotypes, rather than seeing me as an individual.

This experience taught me how microaggressions often come disguised as compliments, and why they can feel confusing or dismissive. They are more than just “innocent” comments—they’re rooted in assumptions about race, body type, and appearance.

Reflecting on moments like these reminds me how important it is to challenge these stereotypes, even when they’re subtle. Black women are diverse in every way—skin tone, body type, and personality—and no one should feel boxed in by someone else’s expectations.