I remember getting ready for youth camp in 2011, excited like any other teenager would be. We were handed paperwork to read beforehand—rules, expectations, general information. But one page stood out in a way I didn’t fully understand at the time.

It mentioned pregnancy.

The form asked parents to confirm whether their teen daughter was pregnant, and it stated that a pregnant teen wouldn’t be allowed to attend camp. On the surface, it may have looked like a standard policy. But sitting in a predominantly Black youth group, it felt heavier than that. It felt like an assumption quietly placed on our bodies and our futures—that pregnancy was something expected of us, something that needed to be addressed before anything else.

I couldn’t help but wonder: would this have been emphasized the same way in a mostly white youth group? Would a white girl have been seen first as a camper, a student, a child—or would her body and potential sexuality have been placed front and center the way ours were?

At the same camp, Black girls were also told to “cover up” and “dress appropriately” so we wouldn’t “tempt” the boys. The message was wrapped in soft language, almost caring. But underneath it was something familiar: the idea that our bodies were inherently distracting, inherently sexual, and therefore our responsibility to manage.

Instead of teaching boys accountability, the burden was placed on us.

Looking back, what hurts most isn’t just the rules—it’s the pattern. The way Black girls are often introduced early to the idea that our bodies are problems to be controlled rather than simply bodies to exist in. The way we’re taught to be cautious, guarded, and hyper-aware of how we’re perceived, even in spaces that are supposed to be safe.

This is where intent and impact part ways. Maybe the intent was protection, safety, or morality. But the impact was a quiet reinforcement of stereotypes: that Black girls are more likely to be sexual, more likely to become pregnant, more likely to need monitoring.

And when those messages are repeated—in church, in school, in society—they don’t just stay on paper. They sink into how we see ourselves.